When a girl says.... avoj: Ok. So I became friends with this really beautiful woman, though she is seeing someone who lives clear across the country (g/f just moved there). Anyways I enjoy her friendship, but also I worship the ground she walks on. LOL. I would never get in the way of another persons relationship.
However I do like her a lot.
Here's my story. So this girl is very flirty, she asks me lots of questions. Like would you go back with your ex. She asks sex questions. Talks about what she likes to do sexually, what I like to do, ect.
She made the comment that sometimes she would like to date someone around here. We were all sharing (buffet style) dinner together & she scooped food onto my plate for me. Asked me my sign. Says thats why she likes me b/c I am an emotional sign.
The other night we were dancing close together. I was behind her & had my hand under her shirt on her belly. (I was really drunk, she wasnt drinking at all--dd)
Later on out of curiousity I asked her if I was her type. If she would date me. SHe said yes. Also at the endof the night i was getting out of the car & she made me stop to give her a hug. I kissed her on the cheek.
Anyways I felt bad for my actions & emailed her to please forgive me for hitting on her. That I don't hit on my friends. She said that is fine she doesnt read into things.
Later on that evening she called me. We talked. She said again that I am her type & if she didn't have a g/f she would date me.
So the next day I was feeling good, so I thought I will let her know that I am interested in her. So I emailed her. I told her that if things don't work out b/w her & her g/f that I really like her. Not to feel awkward. I value her friendship, shes fun, etc.
She emailed back saying she & her g/f have a good relationship and she makes her happy. That this is awkward b/c she does like me & likes my company. Said she hopes we can become good friends & she is flattered that I like her.
Well I made sure I told her I wasn't expecting anything, just felt she need to know.
So what does, "That this is awkward b/c she does like me & likes my company." mean? Is there a chance that someday if that relationship does not work out? Does she like me for more than just friends?
I'm not going to do anything, just be friends, but I live in high hopes I guess.
Re: When a girl says.... ChiefWiggum: I will never [again"> start a relationship with someone I "stole" from another. Those relationships end when your partner is "stolen" away from you.
CW
Re: When a girl says.... frontier74: Just going on what was said, I think that she probably is attracted to you, but she's not willing to give up the good thing she's got, in order to pursue it. Since you have feelings for her, and she knows it (she does know it), it will most likely make it very hard to continue the friendship. Frankly, you're asking for heartache by letting things continue the way they are going.
I'm sure that at some point in her life, she's probably been in the same position you're in now. I'm sure she understands what it feels like to have strong feelings for a friend. This will be a major source of awkwardness for her, because she'll have to always watch what she says and does, to make sure that she's not leading you on.
My recommendation would be to write the whole situation off. She made it clear that she is happy with her current girlfriend, so that doesn't really leave any room for you and her. If she were unhappy with her girlfriend, and just waiting for something better to come along, you would have a good chance, but as it stands, there's no real reason for hope.
If you try to continue the friendship, you'll be doing it with ulterior motives -- not really a good way to build a lasting friendship. Not to mention the fact that if you continue to see eachother, something could happen between you, which would be a source of guilt for her -- not really a good way to build a lasting relationship.
Re: When a girl says.... avoj: oh no. i dont have ulterior motives. i would never do such a thing. i've had it happen to me before & wouldn't allow anything like that to happen b/w us.
i do value her friendship & want to continue on as friends. we have a great time together.
Re: When a girl says.... frontier74: [quote author=avoj link=topic=22508.msg209317#msg209317 date=1133990421">
oh no. i dont have ulterior motives. i would never do such a thing. i've had it happen to me before & wouldn't allow anything like that to happen b/w us.
i do value her friendship & want to continue on as friends. we have a great time together.
[/quote">
Well, be that as it may, you are still hoping for more than friendship from her, which is an ulterior motive. You have to ask yourself, would you give up that hope, completely, in order to continue the friendship? If not, then whether you like it or not, you do have ulterior motives in continuing the friendship. I'm not saying you don't have many completely innocent motives for wanting to continue to be her friend, but the other stuff is still going to be there, unless you're able to squash it.
It's those "high hopes" you spoke of, that will really complicate your future interactions with her.
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