Need some quick advice re: child and school issues superwife: So I just came back from the parent-teacher conference (alone- Daddy didn't feel the need to come). The good news is her teacher feels she is 'adjusting very well' to our situation. She is on par with the rest academically, behaviorally, etc. She said she is very happy, friendly, etc.
Now the part that is pissing me off (which I pretty much expected):
Absent 4 times (only one he informed me of), and late 11 times (none of which I knew). Here's the issue: He takes her and picks her up 3 days. Did he not think I'd find out? We just went to court last week, and I tried to adjust our schedule, and he did not want to budge. I didn't push it (I guess I should have). My distinct reason for wanting her another day was to ensure her consistency in school, being more involved, etc. But he was essentially 'ordered' to do the right thing, for what that's worth.
So now, what do I do? Is this worth getting crazy over? It is worth me hauling his ass back to court and spending more $$ that I don't have on more attorney fees? (I'm sorry but this is an issue, i'm not putting a price on my child). I am trying so hard to pick my battles. Her teacher feels that this is not effecting her school performance. Let me add that she is in Kindergarten (if it matters). But will this trend continue (i know the answer to this). The big prob. is he lives 15 miles from school (he moved out of the area, not me), and has to cross a bridge to get her to school. 2 of the absences were on half days, so I guess it wasn't worth his while to pay 2 round trips for a 3 hour day. NOT MY PROBLEM!! I"M THE ONE WHO STAYED IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!
Or do I just call him up (or have my lawyer call his lawyer) and gently remind him that he has a responsibility to educate his child? The first day she missed he called me and told me she wasn't deeling well so he was keeping her home (this was right after I served him w/ custody papers). But he's a little slow...he forgets he's going to have to behave for longer than a week). I'm so frustrated right now, and (like with everything else) I feel that every decision I attempt to make bites me in the ass. I have been so naive in giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Someone please advise...and try not to judge. I'm very sensitive :'(
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues ChiefWiggum: Tough situtation. Would you give him weekend days in exchange for school days so you can personally guarantee she gets to school? I understand she is your #1 priority.
CW
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues Lumpy: I'd start with the reminder from your lawyer to his. Make sure that this is documented. If the problem persists, I'd take him back to court and have the schedule changed. Like you say, it's not a huge deal presently but it will be detrimental in the long haul. 15 miles is not that far. Lame excuse on his part.
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues manda: Okay. Here is my "teacher" opinion, for what it's worth. It may not seem like much now, but in first grade, it is especially important to be at school on time. Let me give an example: When the bell rings, the first thing I do is go over our phonics sounds that we have learned so far and sometimes introduce a new sound. My one child who has had ten tardies this year has missed this review on those mornings and she is one who needs it. Sure, I can pull her and review them with just her at some other point during the day, but our days are very full, and if someone throws up or has an accident at just the right point in the day, guess what? I won't get to it. Normally a student has a similar attendance record form year to year. When I taught fifth grade it was very common at the end of the year to fill out this information and see it match from all other years of school. So yes, he is starting a bad habit.
What should you do? I would ask the school to mail him a copy of her attendance record so far. They will probably work with you on that since he is over 10 on tardies. (It may be different in your state, though. My county happens to have a policy that mails a "highlighted" copy to the parents at the tenth late arrival. For absences, they mail something at the fifth.) But ask them to do that first. Maybe he will feel motivated if they appear to be upset about it. The principal may be the best person to ask about this. Make an appointment and tell them what it is about.
Anyway, I don't think you are making too much of this. I think you should be concerned because it IS important to have a good attendance record. What message is he sending to her that she will carry for her school years, including those high school years, and later, her work years.
Good Luck.
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues superwife: [quote author=ChiefWiggum link=topic=22509.msg209328#msg209328 date=1133992017">
Tough situtation. Would you give him weekend days in exchange for school days so you can personally guarantee she gets to school? I understand she is your #1 priority.
[/quote">
We agreed on these days while she was ending pre-k, and it didn't seem to be a big issue then. he moved out June 1, and pre-k ended 2 weeks later. We also made this arrangement based on our work schedules 9we does the bulk of his workweek on the weekends). I was also of the understanding that he was going to stay locally (another lie >:( ).
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