Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues dd: Why let him take your daughter during the school week. It is obvious that he is irresponsible to his own daughter's education. If he is responsible for her missing classes now - do you really think that is going to change over time.
Leopards do not change their spots.
Keep your daughter during the week and allow him to see her during the weekends or every other weekend.
I was a nanny and I have seen this type of situation become worse with time.
[Why should he be responsible when you both are no longer together?">
{It seems it is always a control issue instead of working together issue.}
At least you realize your daughter is your first priority, too bad the ex does not realize the responsibility.
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues mrlament: superwife,
incidently, good name...i used to call my wife the same thing. now please dont take this as an excuse for your ex, but i can tell you thats its good thats he's involved with your child...(taking her to school three times a week is involvement) yes it appears he is having trouble with his time and schedule. How long has he been taking her to school? he may need to get adjusted to the responsibility...he has to get better, but for me i know when i had some of the responisbilities you describe, i struggled too...getting her up getting her cleaned, making the pack lunch...getting himself ready and proprably pllaying and fooling around in the morining too. i can see him saying "________" come on, lets get ready" and perhaps her sitting in front of the TV in her pajama's. dads can be slow to begin with. did i say brushing her hair? and "sweetheart, what do you want to wear today?" this is an adjustment for him too....remember your "supermom"...again i'm not making an excuse for him...HE HAS TO GET BETTER. but maybe give him some time. i can recall (not to filter your situation through mine....but it my only reference point), i can recall me saying to my girls lets get ready as they continued to watch TV in the morning and when my wife said it they jumped to attention. give him suggestions , maybe lay her clothes out the night before, whatever it takes. if he can't handle it (and again i dont know how long he has been at it) then perhaps he just can't handle it. but its good that he is involved. just my take. (obviously comming from "not such a superdad") :-[
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues manda: Mrlament has some points...
It is awesome when a father DOES figure it all out and improve.
I just worry that her stbx is not going to try.
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues 4sarah: I know its hard with X's but I think it will really affect your daughter in the long run. My daughter is only in preschool but according to my neighbors their kids can only miss 3 days a year before the parents get a warning and I'm not sure how many tardies they can have and it doesn't matter if its family vacation etc.. they do have exceptions for funerals that are out of town but other than that your kids better be in school. I would maybe talk to your X first and if it continues speak to your lawyer.
Re: Need some quick advice re: child and school issues superwife: [quote author=mrlament link=topic=22509.msg210225#msg210225 date=1134316796">
now please dont take this as an excuse for your ex, but i can tell you thats its good thats he's involved with your child...(taking her to school three times a week is involvement) yes it appears he is having trouble with his time and schedule. How long has he been taking her to school? he may need to get adjusted to the responsibility...he has to get better, but for me i know when i had some of the responisbilities you describe, i struggled too...getting her up getting her cleaned, making the pack lunch...getting himself ready and proprably pllaying and fooling around in the morining too. i can see him saying "________" come on, lets get ready" and perhaps her sitting in front of the TV in her pajama's. dads can be slow to begin with. did i say brushing her hair? and "sweetheart, what do you want to wear today?" this is an adjustment for him too....remember your "supermom"...again i'm not making an excuse for him...HE HAS TO GET BETTER. but maybe give him some time. i can recall (not to filter your situation through mine....but it my only reference point), i can recall me saying to my girls lets get ready as they continued to watch TV in the morning and when my wife said it they jumped to attention. give him suggestions , maybe lay her clothes out the night before, whatever it takes. if he can't handle it (and again i dont know how long he has been at it) then perhaps he just can't handle it. but its good that he is involved. just my take. (obviously comming from "not such a superdad") :-[
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Believe me, i'm not taking it the wrong way. I am so glad he is involved, and she wants/loves/needs her father. But where do I draw the line between 'giving him a chance' and "being played a fool" (as I feel some of you think I am? I am going to give him a chance. I have tried to keep an open mind throughout this entire thing: I have given him the benefit of the doubt since day one. And now I feel like those who are suggesting I take her on weekdays are judging me, like I've given up a part of my motherhood. We made this arrangement prior to school starting (she is in kindergarten) when he told me he was going to find an apt. in the same neighborhood. Well, I guess I'm the fool for beleiving him. We also chose these days based on our work schedules (he works mostly on weekends. And I just came back from court 2 weeks ago, and cannot really afford another $1000 to have my attorney sit in court with me for this, only for him to fight it, and threaten to petition for sole custody of her (Not putting a price on my child, but money is a harsh reality right now, and these things are easier said than done) Don't mean to be snippy, but it's been a rough day. Apparently my attorney feels the same way you guys do, so that doesn't make me feel much better. She tells me I should have gone for sole custody (of course, so her bill will go up, as my ex fights tooth and nail in a bitter court battle). I can't put my dtr thru that.
To answer your question, it's only been since sept. But that's 11 days abbsent in three months (with a number of days of, and he's only taking her 3 days a week, I havn't done the math, but it's not a good percentage). And believe me, it is a struggle for me to get her out ofthe house and away from ther TV, dressed, toothbrushing, etc. I know my child. But she is only 5 and he needs to lay down the law (which I don't believe he's doing). So i'm not male-bashing, I hope you understand. I totally see your point. :)
