Re: Truth: I am scared to death ChiefWiggum: To answer two of your questions:
Yes, this will definately make you wiser.
Yes, this will definately make you stronger.
Re: Truth: I am scared to death jason: BB;
I don't post much here any more, but I HAD to offer up some "wisdom" for you ! ;D
As you are right now, so was I once, not so very long ago. I had a cozy little world created with my farm, my ex-wife, my friends and my family. It was very safe and very secure ( so I thought) and I was so afraid that something would come along and take it away from me. As you know, something did, though I should have looked within my house, rather than outside it for the threat.
Fear itself is neither good nor bad, I think. It just is, and we ALL feel it to one degree or another. Sometimes, fear motivates us to change our actions and grow, and then fear is good. Sometimes, fear disables us and we regress; then fear is bad.
You may get hurt again if you date......so what....could you really hurt worse than you have for the past several years......
You may have to change your paradigms if you begin to date and it does not go as you would expect, whether that is good or bad.....so what....the fact that you are contemplating dating at all speaks of a MAJOR paradigm shift.....keep growing BB !
I know it is hard to date, and I can't imagine how much harder it must be to date with a child, but I think that after all your pain, you deserve some happiness, and it is out there for you to find.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Be well, my friend.
Jason
Re: Truth: I am scared to death dgiirl: Oh boy. I cant even imagine starting to date. I'm getting anxiety attacks just by the smallest attention from a guy. I dont know what the hell is wrong with me. I've had two guys enter my personal space. One of them was very cute and I'd love to get to know him better, but when he went to grab for my arm, I just pulled away like I was a cold itch. I've been chatting with a few other guys online as friends, and I like them, but from time to time I'm freaking out. I feel like I've got information overload or something. I'm being irrational. I'm jumping to conclusions. I've NEVER been like _this_ before. So much anxiety about the smallest things. I feel like I just want to give up and I havent even started. I want to just run away and crawl into a hole.
Re: Truth: I am scared to death barelybreathing: Jason, what a lovely post. Thank you.
You are very inspirational. Your whole being has changed for the better as a result of your trial. You just blossomed into this incredible being and it was so nice to be able to see that in your posts.
Thanks! I have absorbed what you have said as well as all the other posters here who are so gracious and kind to offer some input. It is valued tremendously! That is why I am still very drawm to ojar and can't completely cut my ties. It is full of incredible souls who are just trying to seek a better understanding in this experience that connects us.
BB
