Re: Interesting Conversation Lumpy: [quote author=crushedman link=topic=22524.msg209494#msg209494 date=1134018319">
You have leverage in that you are able to provide something that OM cannot or will not- security (at least this is what I gather from your prior posts if I am wrong than I apologize) and money. Again, it depends on what you are trying to accomplish. If you want her back, IMO it would be prudent to use every weapon that you possibly have at your disposal. I don't mean that child support is a 'weapon', but you are absolutely entitled to it. The weight of that particular obligation may just be enough to crash this fantasy relationship she is living. That is why it is so important to NOT give her any money. If you give her money, she gets the best of both worlds.
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I think your thinking is sound here but what does it get you? Do you want her to come back cause she's broke? I wouldn't press for child support unless you need the money to provide for your child. I do agree that you shouldn't give her any money however. When she asked your daughter if you'd changed, what was she referring to?
Re: Interesting Conversation ajw: its liars remorse......she's screwed everything up and she knows it.....but to admit it would show weakness,so she's going to stand their and say water is wine until it all comes crashing round her ears
Re: Interesting Conversation dontgetit: Lumpy - the last few years of our marriage have been difficult, we went bankrupt and I was unemployed for a good few years (we moved to this new city to get a fresh start)....I was able to pick up the pieces and started a great job in September (if I am being honest I spent a good few years wallowing in self pity - oh why me)....Also if I am being honest I was a very angry man and took a lot of my frustration out on my wife....I think she ran this time just to get away - thing is the shock of this whole episode woke me up in about 5 minutes....Having started a new job, taking care of my daughter and starting to go to church again has shown me how truly blessed I am...
AJW - I think you are correct about "buyer remorse" - but I think she is coming to the conclusion that life on the other side is not all she thought it would be....
Wonder how the new man feels - something tells me he did not get the woman he thought he was getting....My grown daughter also told me that he is still feeding his ex (he left her for my wife) lots of cash - pays all her cards, the mortgage etc....I suppose my wife see's this and wonders why he does not "pad" her wallet as well...Thing is perhaps all she would have to do is ask....
That does not change the issue with the vehicle and or why he cannot see that she is "stressed" out about money (crying at a coffee shop over who pays would be my first signal) - do you not think if he was not aware of a problem this would have been his opportunity to see it and offer help...
Again am I reading to much into all of this or do you people agree that her perspective is starting to change........
After I put the post up I remembered one last thing, they are going to his company xmas party this weekend - she went to my daughters store and blew a good few hundred on a new party dress....So she knows he has expectaions of her - like my daughter said to her if he wants you to look good you need to tell him he will have to pay for the accessories...I personally think that she is scared to ask just in case......you get where I am going with that.....
Re: Interesting Conversation (THOUGHTS FROM THE FORUM WOULD BE HELPFUL) Lumpy: Sounds to me like this whole situation is going to implode regardless of what you do or don't do. All that's left for you is to decide whether or not you're going to be there for her when it does. I think you need to try to focus on your daughter and yourself right now. Worrying about what she's saying/doing/feeling is just going to confuse you further. Sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants.
Re: Interesting Conversation (THOUGHTS FROM THE FORUM WOULD BE HELPFUL) dontgetit: Thanks, I agree I have been spending to much time on this....I will ask though am I reading to much into these disjointed comments made by my wife or do they tell a story..............
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