Re: Deciding to Stay or Go Whirlpool: I will simply add listen to your friends and kick the loser to the curb. Everyone else said enough of the details. I emphasize loser.
Re: Deciding to Stay or Go chick nick: This is almost a replica of what i went through!! I myself got with my ex @ 15 had a child and stayed in that relationship for 10yrs!! Your fears were the same as mine which is why the relationship went well over its sell by date.
Its been 4mths since i split and i don't regret the split just that it took soo long - years of my life have been wasted on a man that shouldn't have. Luckily though we are still young and can live and learn from these exp!!
As for the child dilema, my deepest regret is that my child had to endure 9yrs of his life witnessing his fathers antics and me explaining his absense (prison) and i would not wish that upon anyone.
Your child should exp stability and may not get that with her father! Let her see that relationships are fundamentally based upon mutual respect, trust and honesty. Otherwise she herself may view this relationship as normal and repeat the cycle!!
Wishing you best
Nic x
Re: Deciding to Stay or Go flyaway: [quote author=chick nick link=topic=22526.msg209527#msg209527 date=1134043157">
Your child should exp stability and may not get that with her father! Let her see that relationships are fundamentally based upon mutual respect, trust and honesty. Otherwise she herself may view this relationship as normal and repeat the cycle!!
[/quote">
That is so profound, chick! And very wise words.....that is precisely what allowed me in my heart to make the break from my marriage. I did not want my daughters to think that what they were witnessing was normal, or even "as good as it gets". So mommy, I think that you have a very viable reason to stay separated.....and not feel the guilt! :)
Fly
Re: Deciding to Stay or Go singlemommy: THANKS FOR ALL YOUR ADVICE... READING THAT REALLY HELPED ME PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE... AND TO ANSWER THE QUESTION AS TO WHY HE'S LIVING SOMEWHERE ELSE ON HOUSE ARREST IS BECAUSE THE TROUBLE HE GOT INVOLVED IN... THE DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY AND CHILDREN SERVICES TOLD HIM HE COULDN'T COME BACK HOME UNTIL HE WENT TO COURT. SO HE'S STAYING WITH HIS DAD.
BUT HE DID CALL ME YESTERDAY, WAS AS NICE AS COULD BE AND ASKED ME HOW THE BABY WAS DOING AND IF I NEEDED ANYTHING...AND I FINALLY TOLD HIM THAT I NEEDED HELP FINANCIALLY ... THAT WORKING AS MUCH AS I AM TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING IS KILLING ME... AND I NICELY ASKED HIM IF HE COULD GIVE ME $25 A WEEK/ $100 MONTH TO HELP ME BUY THE BABY'S DIAPERS,CLOTHES ECT. HE ONLY RESPONDED TO ME WITH " YOUR ALWAYS WANTING MONEY FROM ME. F*** YOU DIE AND GO TO HELL" I JUST HUNG UP ON HIM.
I WENT TO WORK THIS MORNING AND DIDN'T CALL HIM ALL DAY. I WENT AND HAD THE BABY AND MY PICTURE MADE FOR CHRISTMAS AND WHEN I WAS GETTING BACK IN THE CAR TO COME HOME MY CELL PHONE RANG AND IT WAS HIM. OF COURSE I GOT THE WHERE ARE YOU , WHO ARE YOU WITH, WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME YET.... THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. AND I ONLY RESPONDED TO HIM WITH " WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? YOU TOLD ME TO DIE AND GO TO HELL" AND THEN I HUNG UP. HE'S CALLED MY CELL PHONE BACK TO BACK EVER SINCE...AND HE LEAVES ME VOICEMAILS SAYING HE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID LAST NIGHT THAT HE WAS JUST IN A BAD MOOD... I HAVEN'T EVEN CALLED HIM BACK. AND I DON'T PLAN ON IT.
I'M GOING TO LET HIM BE THE ONE THAT WONDERS FOR A WHILE.
BUT I WENT AND GOT OUR CHRISTMAS PICS MADE TODAY WITHOUT HIM AND I KNOW AS SOON AS HE FINDS OUT i TOOK A PHOTO WITH THE BABY HE'S GOING TO GET MAD CAUSE HE TELLS ME SHE HAS TWO PARENTS AND HTAT FAMILY PHOTOS SHOULDN'T BE MADE WITHOUT HIM. BUT ITS HIS OWN FAULT THAT HE'S NOT IN THEM. NOT MINE...
TAKE CARE EVERYONE
Re: Deciding to Stay or Go ChiefWiggum: :)
Good for you!
