When to Ask for the Digits and the Second Date timer: As you will tell from my questions I am a rank amateur at the dating scene and I need some advice from some more seasoned veterans.
I have a lunch date in two days with a girl I'm very attracted to. We met briefly at a Happy Hour and she works with a good friend of mine. I emailed her last week and asked her to lunch and she agreed.
Assuming all goes well at the lunch date, I am uncertain whether I should ask to call her sometime at the end of the date or just follow up with her later and ask for her number. In addition, should I tell her I'd like to see her again at the close of the date or wait a couple days (and keep her guessing) before attempting to ask her out again.
In the begining of the dating relationship I gather that it is generally accepted behavior to play coy and hide your true feelings for someone in the hopes that your feigned disinterest will spark real interest from the other person. I'd much prefer to simply tell her straight up that I would like to see her again and ask for her number so I can call her. However, I don't want to come across as needy or pushy. Thanks for your help.
Re: When to Ask for the Digits and the Second Date frontier74: [quote author=timer link=topic=22527.msg209477#msg209477 date=1134016896">
In the begining of the dating relationship I gather that it is generally accepted behavior to play coy and hide your true feelings for someone in the hopes that your feigned disinterest will spark real interest from the other person.
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If your true feelings are, "I'd like to see you again," then by all means, express them. If on the other hand, your true feelings are, "I want to marry you and give you many strong children," then that's best left unsaid. Actually, if those are your true feelings, you might want to forget about this whole dating thing, until you can get medicated.
The gist of all of the "rules" that I follow is that you should not show any emotions that are completely out of synch with the current situation. It's best if you're not feeling these disproportionate emotions, but if you are, it's best to keep them to yourself, until they're appropriate. If you tell a girl that you love her, after only a few dates, she's going to think you're completely nuts, or you're making a rather pathetic attempt to get into her pants.
If you're still interested in her after you've gone on your date, then you should definitely get her number. If a new relationship isn't progressing, it's stagnating. When you're on your date, remember that you're there to find out if she measures up. You're not there to impress her, or gain her acceptance. Be yourself, but make sure it's the self that you are with your friends and family, not the one that you are when you're trying desperately to impress some hot chick.
A first date is nothing more than a possibility, and a slight one at that. Don't place too much importance on it, and you'll be the cool and confident guy you need to be, without having to fake it.
Re: When to Ask for the Digits and the Second Date WhiskeyGirl: [quote author=frontier74 link=topic=22527.msg209502#msg209502 date=1134020216">
actually, if those are your true feelings, you might want to forget about this whole dating thing, until you can get medicated.
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roflmao :D Oh..I don't know...I kind of like it when a guy tells me he wants to marry me and have kids with me on the first date ::) lol
Okay, seriously, I agree with frontier......of course you should ask for her # if the date goes well. Then call her maybe midweek and see if she is interested in doing something that weekend. Keep it short and sweet...dont spend a lot of time gabbing on the phone just ask her out and ask the usual questions...hows your day? blah, blah, blah.........
Good luck on the date, have fun :D
