cheating wife wants divorce! whofeelslove: dear all
im in england now after spending 3 years with women i loved in america and had daughter age 3 now. few months ago things got bad bewteen and i decided to move out trial separation..big mistake as she met some guy at a wedding and formed a phone relationship and decided she wanted a divorce very quickly showing no emotion!! hated the choice and it played on me every day as i didnt know anybody in america and felt so alone as only best friend was divorcing me! they met 1 weekend and slept together and lied to me the next day about where he slept and treated me realy bad and behaved odly the next day..maybe guilt i dont know..she did other things that i will not go on about but i decided to move back to england to be with my family for a while and she didnt want me to go but i had to as i hated bieng on my own in usa and needed family..well after phone calls she confessed to sleeping with this guy who then dumped her for whatever reason i dont know..she wanted me back but the sleeping thing made me sick..our emails and phone calls got bitter and now she has had enough and wants divorce to go ahead in march 2006..she shows no remorse for her actions and just throws my part in the marraige break up back at me and is now using my daugher as aweapon in my feeling whoi miss so much..why will she not accept what she did and atleast talk with me about it,,she acts like she doesnt care at all and is very cool and calm about it..i never cheated on her yet she has told me that the thought of me bieng with somebody else would be to much for her to handle..and that she is relieved that im not dating anybody else ..any tips as this seperation thingy is killing me and any chance of our reconcilliation..
ian
Re: cheating wife wants divorce! dontgetit: Fly to the USA and look her straight in the eyes, tell her you were not to blame for her affair...Tell her you hurt, if she loves you the eyes will tell the story - if not you will know for sure. Do not let a mistake on her part ruin what could (with help) be your future...Leave your anger over the affair at the door...
Re: cheating wife wants divorce! Whirlpool: Ouch. I am no expert, but I would say the first thing you must ask yourself is can you forgive her? The problem with affairs is the victim usually cannot get over it. Even if she agrees to try again can you put that behind you and rebuild a new relationship? Or will you ask her questions about it often, want details, be angry all the time when you look at her, etc... You can make your new relationship hell for both of you. Next, will you ever be able to trust her again?
These are things you need to ask yourself before you even think about trying to get back together. Because you were the one betrayed it is you who will have the burden of patching things back up. Now you just have to see if she is willing. She will have to know you can forgive her, at first she will expect some crap out of you but eventually will tire of it and leave you again. So be sure you can do it! If you can then tell her you love her and forgive her and want a chance to love her again.
Re: cheating wife wants divorce! whofeelslove: thats a tough one y`all
she has it that i am just an angry person in life in general and the truth is that my family believe that she mentally bullied me for 3 years and that i got to the point where i started to stand up for myself and she hated me for it?? this is the women that said on the night of me finding that my mother had died of cancer said to me when i phoned her in the usa in 2002 "well she wasnt exactly a mother was she. she was a b*tch wasnt she"(my mother had left us when i was 5 but i never held it against her ever and she never met or new my mother) yet still i moved to america to be with her and gave up my whole life family and friends and all to be with her and worked hard for 3 years to provide a house/food on the table/did jobs that i hated while she started her dream business and i never stood up to who i realy am as a human i guess its my fault in some respect. i was a gentle loving person when i met her and granted i had my life issues and she had hers and i went to couciling after my mothers death over it and it was affecting our relationship and most of the time she had me believe it was me that needed fixing?? i still love her and that its just the divorce is not final until march 2006 and part of me still wants to be with her but the other part of me knows that what she shows other people and what she showed me are 2 different people. when i was in america i had many women chat me up because of my british accent but i never went with any of it because i loved her and couldnt even dream of cheating on her..part of me wish`s now that i did go with some one..heck even now i want to start dating but my heart knows i would be doing it to make her angry which would be unfair to my future partner/girlfriend..i just miss my daughter so much i am even going back to ameica soon to move to the next state along so that i can see my daughter at weekends..now my family have got lawyers involved which im kinda worried about as im afraid it will make things worse between us and i dont realy care about our house because i dont want my daughter moving again i realy dont care about that house enough to want half of it..i just want to see my daughter and have our other car(old bit of junk she can have our new car) so that i can get to work in the next state..i know that i will not stay single for long(thanx in part to my british accent and my heart which i believe is good) its just i am finding it hard to let go of her!! she already had a lawyer draw up our temporary agreement until the divorce but my family said that i was bieng taken for a ride ?????
ian
