Re: TWO MONTHS AGO TODAY... bbygrl: I would not take mine back for anything, I finally know that to the core of me,but......I still miss ( no longer every minute, but daily) and I still dream about him. Though I did dream about a mutual friend of ours last night...weird since typically it is sexual/loving dreams about stbxh I have usually at least 3x night. In October I wrote a letter to my child and didn't think I would make it through the night I was hurting so bad. 2.5 mths later life is getting on track.I have moments and days that are worse then others but all in all I know I not only will survive, I will excel. Give yourself the time you need, but know beyond a shadow of a doubt, you will heal, you will get over it, you will be happy again!!!
Re: TWO MONTHS AGO TODAY... ChiefWiggum: [quote author=bbygrl link=topic=22547.msg210917#msg210917 date=1134533398">
I would not take mine back for anything
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Good for you. If we all had that mindset, this whole thing would be a heck of a lot easier to deal with.
CW
Re: TWO MONTHS AGO TODAY... SadEyez: He called last night & like a dummy I answered. I started off strong & told him that I would no longer allow him or myself to make excuses for what he did. he said he was "thinking about " coming over but if i wouldnt tell him if i would be going out then hes not gonna waste 2 hrs. of his time.
2hrs? try 2 YEARS! i said. then- the hurt came back. I was so floored when my other line beeped & he said "maybe THATS what you'll be doing 2night" -- i said "you only suspect me because you're up 2 no good"
he said he didnt know what i had been doing -- (although I was insulted because I NEVER would've done anything 2 hurt him, i held back my tears)
but isnt it true that if he cared about what i might be doing or who i might meet he never wouldve left me?
technically i'm still a newlywed & tomorrow would've been 10 months that we've been married.
I called him 4 times in a row & he didnt answer once- just let it ring . what sick game is he playing? I left a voicemail simply saying "I cant play these games anymore with you" and I hung up.
But I really feel I should leave another message letting him know how hurt I am and diappointed that he didnt handle things differently.- I dont think he understands. I thought he'd be calling sounding a little more mature since its been 2 months but he sounds like he's going backwards.
I feel so lost.
Re: TWO MONTHS AGO TODAY... MJ28: Sadeyez,
I am so sorry for you. I left my husband nearly 8 mos. ago (3 days after my baby was born), he was so emotionally abusive to myself and my son. I know how hard it is to try and have no contact with him, I myserlf still think about my husband every day, and to make matters worse he has shown up 2x's in the last 4 days without calling, supposedly to see the baby, but really he wants to see what I'm up to, try to catch me with someone else. (not gonna happen for a really really long time). ANyway, my point is this... If you tell him how hurt you are, how much you miss him or love him etc... he will feed off that. I made the mistake several times of telling my husband the very same thing and he would throw it in my face that I left him, instead of realizing that I left for a reason. No one should have to listen to someone criticizing every single thing about them every day all day, and be expected to stay. There are good people in the world (I found them here) we're all in the same boat and will help each other through these sad and difficult times. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
Re: TWO MONTHS AGO TODAY... SadEyez: [quote author=MJ28 link=topic=22547.msg210975#msg210975 date=1134571594">
Sadeyez,
I am so sorry for you. I left my husband nearly 8 mos. ago (3 days after my baby was born), he was so emotionally abusive to myself and my son. I know how hard it is to try and have no contact with him, I myserlf still think about my husband every day, and to make matters worse he has shown up 2x's in the last 4 days without calling, supposedly to see the baby, but really he wants to see what I'm up to, try to catch me with someone else. (not gonna happen for a really really long time). ANyway, my point is this... If you tell him how hurt you are, how much you miss him or love him etc... he will feed off that. I made the mistake several times of telling my husband the very same thing and he would throw it in my face that I left him, instead of realizing that I left for a reason. No one should have to listen to someone criticizing every single thing about them every day all day, and be expected to stay. There are good people in the world (I found them here) we're all in the same boat and will help each other through these sad and difficult times. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
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you are absolutely right and given your situation you should have left . This is what I dont understand about mine:
He LOVED me when i was contracting at the government- couldnt be away from me. I got laid off, he seems frustrated & distant, then I start contracting for the government again - I get laid off AGAIN if you can beleive it - the next day, he's gone.
I let him put me down , yell, and threaten- thinking that since his childhood was bad he'd just grow out of it, because he loves me (I thought)
I wanted to communicate, he'd just lie to me & tell me I was making a big deal out of nothing & to get over it, he'd call me stupid, slut (although he knew my history- he was my 2nd sexual incounter of any type)
He'd "be at work" sometimes untill 5am "doing inventory" he'd work litterally 7 days a week , not help with the rent, blow money on clothes & junk while i was trying to keep a roof over our head.
I thought all my hard work would pay off- even though everyone told me to leave him. I loved him too much to give up hope. why does HE WALK OUT? I bought him everything I could , tried everything possible to make him happy, let him know he made me feel alone & he said "it was just in my head" and he just had his own way of expressing his love for me. I prayed and everything- Is there a such thing as doing too much for a spouse? Why am I such a pushover? he thinks me getting pregnant and running away with him will fix everything- or fix him. why doesnt he want it to work? why is one wife not enough? why do u need 4-5 women?
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