Desperate for advice..I feel like I am having a heart attack bbygrl: I feel like I am going to ache forever. I left him 11 months ago ( due to his lifestyle, with constant love and support, hoping that he would quit drugs, partying, gambling, gang related lifestyle-he was not always this way)We were intimate until July.He met another woman in July but lied to me until September. She supported and joined his lifestyle. I found out and was blindsided. We were married 10 years and have a 5 yr old. He has been dating OW for 5 months, today I found out they are going to Mexico in a few days. We are divorcing now....it amazes me how ugly things can get. Its the lies that seem to have hit me so hard, how could he have disrespected me so much, and not allowed me the chance to move on in my life? Now he tells me that his life is balanced ( no more parties, drugs, drug trade), and he wants custody of our child. His life seems so rosy, holidays, expensive restaurants, sex, love and support.....mine is devestated. I have completely isolated myself, have nobody to spend christmas with, and my chest never stops feeling like I am having a heart attack.I don't want to be a victim, I want to move on,but the pain does not let up.I work for myself, and have barely worked this year because of the stress, the $ is low, and I can't seem to get it together. I am very attractive, fit, and usually quite successful, my friends are sick of it, and tell me to get over it already.HOW???? I want to!!!I desperately need advice!!
Thanks!
Re: Desperate for advice..I feel like I am having a heart attack Whirlpool: :(
Sorry you are feeling this pain. Sadly you will not get over it anytime soon hon. The ultimate rejection and slap in the face is when someone you love gives someone else something they would not give you. I cannot fathom the hurt you are going through though i do have an idea. The lump in your throat which I assume is the pain you speak of will go away with time. It seems it never will I know. Your friends are doing what many do in times like this. All you likely do is talk about your situation with them, you are probably a real drag to hang out with right now and even though they are your friends even they get sick of it. It happens, don't take it personally. They cannot understand the pain you feel right now unless they have been through it. There is no just getting over it, it will let you get over it when it decides it is time.
But you really must help yourself work towards that goal. Start detaching now, stop asking why's and start thinking what as in what are you going to do now with yourself. Get out there and meet some people. Nothing wrong with some fun dating, just don't get into anything serious and be up front about it all. I think the biggest problem right now is he has moved on and you have not, and that bugs you because of the reasons you left him. You will be okay, hang in there. I know it gets old hearing it but it just takes time.
Re: Desperate for advice..I feel like I am having a heart attack tiredofbeingtired: I too hate it that you're hurting. I know exactly how you feel and I'd never wish this kind of pain on anyone (not even the one that caused my pain). It does seem like you realize your truest friends during these times. And they are far and few between. Don't be afraid to lean on the ones you have though, you'll need them. It's too bad that being attractive and successful doesnt' keep us from getting hurt. Unfortunately none of us are exempt, even the ones of us that thought we were way to smart to ever allow something like that to happen to us. And as far as the "just get over it". I'm as tired as anyone of hearing that. If we could snap our fingers and feel better don't they think we'd have done it a long time ago. I personally have spent alot of time trying to gain perspective and find something to motivate me (just to get out of bed in the morning) and the only thing that keeps me going is focusing all my attention on my children and what kind of future I'm going to provide for them. This doesn't keep the depression from creeping in on me at least daily, but it keeps me sane and motivated to keep believing things will get better. This may work for you with your child. I sincerely hope you find what it takes to get you through your heartache.
