Re: Why do they leave of us for something worse? dragonfly: I think mine went to something worse...everything he said I was (controlling, manipulative, needy, etc...) which I wasn't....she is. She's all those things and more...and his friends tell me how stupid he was for leaving me for her, that she makes him miserable, even though he says he's happier than he's ever been. Guess he's trying to convince himself and justify his actions.
It was definitly something in him that he didn't want to face or own up to, so he blamed it all on me. I'm not perfect...but maybe he wants to be controlled and manipulated and I wasn't giving that to him.
Who knows?
Re: Why do they leave of us for something worse? pamela: i like whirlpool's theory.. :P
Re: Why do they leave of us for something worse? RSGinATX: Whirlpool has it right, I think. They left us because they found something within us that they decided they just couldn't stand anymore. In their eyes, the new person isn't worse, no matter how bad the relationship is, simply because they don't possess that particular trait. It could even be because they're not happy with themselves, but they see you as the one that reminds them of their problems...in their eyes, the ideal relationship could be with someone who has as many or more problems than they do because they feel better in comparison.
Re: Why do they leave of us for something worse? flowersdirtandgardengirl: I was told by a guy friend who is really just a very old friend of my ex, that men (I mean, sorry, boys) are irrevocably, irrationally, relentlessly attracted to f-ed up and crazy chicks "our whole lives until, one day, we aren't". I still have a really hard time accepting this and take it more to be a personal statement from this one particular guy than anything else. However, it stuck with me for a little too long because it hit a little too close to home.
Personally, I feel like this: I feel like people choose to be with people who they think reflect something of themselves on the outside (sometimes on the inside, but usually not in cases like these). That is they are feeling crappy about themselves they choose someone or someone(s) who make them look better, at least by comparison. That they need distraction and diversion from the sh-t inside that they are trying to ignore and what better way to do it than to watch the pyrotecnics of someone else's drama?
I think when you feel like crap with who you are, you choose people accordingly. Of course, the flip side of this, is that when you feel great (or, at least, good ;)) about who you are you will likely also choose accordingly.
Just my two cents. :)
~gg
Re: Why do they leave of us for something worse? superwife: Right on, Whirlpool ;)
There was a sighting of my ex and the OW (whom I've never had the pleasure of meeting yet). My friends exact quote "He didn't trade up". I laughed my ass off!!! She then proceeded to describe her and I couldn't stop laughing. All I'll say is she's something I never would have imagined him going for. But many have said he couldn't handle my success in my career and education (I'm not all that, but I've gotten further than he has), so he needed to find someone he could be better than. This isn't me talking, it's my well-meaning family and friends ;)
