Re: want help superwife: [quote author=eeyore0512 link=topic=22587.msg210011#msg210011 date=1134225592">
I think my biggest mistake with my hubby was to spend every moment focusing on him. I don't know how to focus on myself. I've always loved doing things for others. I know I need to take care of myself, but it's so hard at meal times. I don't know what to make for myself. It seems pointless to make a decent meal for myself, so I just end up choking down a cup of cereal.
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I can see that as a problem. Although for some (like my mother, who has been married for 36 years), that seems to work. I can't see how, honsetly. I always felt fortunate that I had a career, and was constantly trying to better myself in that respect. I've been in school for as long as I can remember (who knows, maybe that was part of the problem, but I digress). You need to define who you are, other than a wife (or ex wife). What do you like to do? I'm sure nothing, right now (I feel like that sometimes too). You must have hobbies. What did you do before you were married? Do you have a trade/skill? Sports, exercise, gardening, surfing the internet?? Friends you should be catching up with? I can relate to having no money (I work, and did during the entire marriage and have none either)!!
As far as the counselor situation, I think you found it (that's why I'm here). I was going to one for the past six months, and I don't feel it helped. We never really delved deep into my feelings. Then I thought a group-therapy approach may work better. So in searching online, I found ojar :D
Re: want help bbygrl: It is so tough when you are depressed because everything seems so pointless.I have been there and am still fighting it so I really do know. I also am personally not a person for medication so I chose to fight it without the drugs and drs. This is what I have done: I take omega 3-6-9 fatty acids. I actually went to the health food store for st johns wort ( hearbal antideppressant) and the people there said that the new research is pointing to these fats. I took them, it was like night and day within just a few days. I also did quite a bit of research on it online. I also forced myself to go outside and walk. At first it was a slow process, then it became power walks ( with a few slow dragging ones mixed in on my bad days)Even if its crappy outside, the fresh air and oxygen helps alot. Then after about 10 mths I added gym workouts. I am still broken hearted and my divorce has gotten very ugly, I have muscle pain due to stress in my neck, but I am doing so much better, and when all is said and done and life changes, I won't have to battle drug withdrawl form antidepressants ( have had problems after a car accident many years ago), I won't be dependant on meds for sleep, and my body will look pretty darn good :) Anyways I hope the advice to go outside and walk helps you, and maybe do a little research on the omega fats.Best wishes!!
