Advice please!! hurtnlost: How did everyone deal with the dealing with the divorce settlements and who gets what? Right now this is the one thing we are at war over b/c he wants to give me nothing or hardly nothing and I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years and I am getting main custody of our boys, 2 and 5. Just wanted advice on how everyone handled it and felt what was fair to them?
Thanks!
Re: Advice please!! superwife: You mean furniture, car, house, etc?
I didn't have that problem, as he left with the clothes on his back. I had to literally force the sofa on him (his father made it, so I felt he should have it). I ended up throwing out half the furniture when I moved into a smaller place, and stupid is living in a barely furnished apartment, b/c he couldn't be bothered to take anything. But I digress...
My BF was in a similar situation. Of course, he did the right thing (there are some good men out there). His ex stayed at home. He essentially left it all behind, knowing it was for the benefit of his son. As far as what he pays her I don't know specifics (and don't ask either), but the deal was she had time (more than enough, IMO) to become gainfully employed, and at that point, his commitment to her would decrease. He also took into consideration that he didn't want his child thrown into daycare so she could work full time.
You can't (or shouldn't) be expected to start from scratch, without a job, and two small children. Have you sought legal represenattion yet?
Re: Advice please!! Whirlpool: [quote author=hurtnlost link=topic=22593.msg210056#msg210056 date=1134245498">
How did everyone deal with the dealing with the divorce settlements and who gets what? Right now this is the one thing we are at war over b/c he wants to give me nothing or hardly nothing and I have been a stay at home mom for 5 years and I am getting main custody of our boys, 2 and 5. Just wanted advice on how everyone handled it and felt what was fair to them?
Thanks!
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Get a lawyer, being unemployed for the last 5 years you will get at least temporary alimony until you get on your feet. You will definately get child support, and more than likely he will have to pay your lawyer fees since him being an a-hole is what is causing you to have to get one. Most divorce lawyers give free consultations, I suggest you go see one.
Re: Advice please!! hurtnlost: Well I have a lawyer and we are in debates right now and it is brutal. He does not want to pay me any alimony at all and we are having to sell our house which we will split profits on but his car is paid for and I am wanting mine paid for and he said he will pay for it from the top proceeds from the house and whatever is leftover will be split. It is so crazy b/c he constantly barades me with legal threats of do not ask for alimony from me b/c i will come back and get it from you when you start making money. I am just getting emotionally drained from it all.
He just does not act like he does not even care that he is splitting from me either which makes me so upset through the process. Does he really feel like I meant nothing to him? That is what he tells me when he sees me, that I meant nothing. That when he sees me I meant nothing. He makes me feel like nothing. :( :( :'( :'(
Re: Advice please!! bbygrl: I hear that all the time also,It meant nothing or I only married you to make you happy...all kinds of excuses.Its all so easy to say now, 10 years later.I have more letters and cards from him telling me how much he loves me.He has a new girlfriend now, but even in some conversations he has said since he met her, that nobody will ever compare to me. What I am saying is that its an easy thing to say now to hurt us...thats it... not the truth. I am dealing now with financial separation as well. He believes that he will get sole custody ( another threat ) and that he will pay me $600 month. My husband has $500,000.00 worth of vehicles and has been on 8 holidays this year.I have not been on a holiday for several years and still owe$21,000.00 on my 4 year old jeep. My lawyer will be asking for alimony as well as child support as well as $500,000.00. Now I don't expect to get all that, and I don't really care, I just think it sucks that he is on holidays again, drives sports cars etc, and I have lived on a line of credit this year because I barely worked due to stress. He has no idea and will get the paperwork once he gets back from the tropics. He truly believes he will have to pay me nothing. Just leave it all up to your lawyer, don't even try and talk about it to him if he is not willing to talk. In this situation thats whet lawyers are for. Best of luck to you!!( I don't believe he can come back after and get the alimony back,it is for the time already past, not for the future once you are gainfully employed)
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