Re: alright guys, help a girl out Lumpy: [quote author=frontier link=topic=22601.msg214420#msg214420 date=1135616254">
By the way, your ex was a freak.
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Here here! At what weight do you feel comfortable at? Do you feel sexy/healthy? Those should be your primary considerations. Screw allowing someone elses opinion rule you. 5'5 120 is fat? That is a BMI of 20 which is borderline underweight.
Re: alright guys, help a girl out flowersdirtandgardengirl: [quote author=frontier link=topic=22601.msg214420#msg214420 date=1135616254">
My ex went from a size 8 to a size 2 after the divorce, through extreme measures. Now her blood-sugar is so screwed up that even though she's still working out obssessively and dieting, she can't stop gaining weight. Now she's working out six days a week and is back over a size 8.
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That's kind of scary. I KNOW my ex was a insecure dip-sh*t. I know this. I'm a smart girl. So I can't really blame this all on him---although I'd sure like to.
I'm going to see a therapist who deals with eating disorders next week. I never would have thought in a million years I would have just said that, but there it is.
And Lumpy, the question about how do you feel is kind of a hard one. I feel great at this weight in a lot of ways and terrible in others. I feel like I look good in clothes but I know I'm kinda boney underneath. It's been a little too long since I have been with someone who has made me feel spectacular without any clothes on (for that I DO blame the ex). I hear it often enough from bystanders with clothes on, but I haven't let myself get involved with anyone since dipsh*t, even on the most casual level. Partially because I'm afraid that if I were to sleep with somone now it would only be because I'm so thin and it would only reinforce this weird pattern if they said anything good or nice about my body the way it is now. On the other hand, I'm really resistant to gain any weight, like I said.
Does any of this make any sense?
Re: alright guys, help a girl out JNA: Yes it does...
Not sure how long you were with your ex but he made a lasting impression on you that makes you think you are not all that...
A "Complex" in other words...
Keep in mind beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because him or some bystander does not think you are "Hot"...Does not mean someone else will not...
Just give it time ok and forget about what he said...
Look in the mirror and "really" look...
You are unique and all you...Someone worthy of you will cherish you...
Trust me on that one...
JNA
Re: alright guys, help a girl out flowersdirtandgardengirl: this is the closest thing to an ojar therapy session I think I've ever had, so thanks everyone for helping me with this neurosis.
It is so true that by the time it was all said and done I felt about as attractive as a half-cooked chicken. It showed all over. By the way I walked and looked at the ground instead of up at people or what was in front of me. By my body language and my refusal to eat. But on the other hand I know this is all crazy, that I should be so grateful and feel blessed to have the phenotype I do. So what gives? Everyone says break up are one of the hardest things for your self esteem to weather. Afterall, your heart was just rendered into road-kill and the person who was supposed to love you forever up and reconsidered. I 'm sure it does not matter how good looking you are or are not, that kind of pain has got to feel the same on everyone.
So, what I can't tell is if I'm punishing myself, gaining revenge on him or trying to be someone else entirely with this whole thing. Reinvent myself as it were.
Food (or not) for thought, I guess...
~gg
Re: alright guys, help a girl out Freckles: [quote author=gg link=topic=22601.msg210118#msg210118 date=1134258975">
Okay boys, time to fess up:
Please time me honestly and truly, once and for all, how important is it REALLY to be skinny? Is it a turn on or a turn off? I'm not talking starving Botswanna refugee, just, well, inarguably thin.
I could tell you my reasons for asking this but you'll definitely know then that I'm a screw-ball so just answer if you can.
thanks a bunch boys....
love,
gg
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I like any Size between 95 pounds and 250 Pounds
Under that is to Thin over that is to Fat !
:)
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