Common theme Trying2Hope: Ya know, I've noticed a common theme to all of us posting (including me) about our ex's or stbx's.
"Why don't they care? How can they feel how they feel?"
It seems most of us are hurting because we can't seem to get through the idea that our significant others aren't feeling what we are.
Now, I have two points to make:
1) It's impossible to know what others are truly feeling, so it's pointless to try.
and
2) It's also pointless to feel bad over someone else's feelings! When it comes down to it, it's just a waste of time.
Please, everybody, try to focus on your own thoughts & feelings. You can't do anything about other people's emotions and thoughts.
Just some advice. I think when I finally realized this, I made huge progress toward healing.
Re: Common theme ChiefWiggum: 2) is true.
1) is not so true. I left a gf broken-hearted a few years ago. I know how I felt when I left.
Re: Common theme Trying2Hope: My point is, our feelings are our own. It seems to me everyone wants to say things like:
"I wonder if she's as miserable as I am?"
"My Christmas is going to be terrible because her Christmas she'll be with the OM and she'll be happy."
or
"When will Karma come and make her feel as bad as I do?"
I guess my point is, we can never really know or control someone else's feelings, it's fruitless to worry about whether or not they care.
My probaly ex doesn't care ... that's why she's my freakin' ex ... but that doesn't stop me from trying to enjoy myself. In the long run, you're not winning any brownie points by wallowing in self-pity.
Re: Common theme ChiefWiggum: [quote author=Batman link=topic=23023.msg213737#msg213737 date=1135317277"> you're not winning any brownie points by wallowing in self-pity.
[/quote">
Absolutely. Actually, it's worse than "no brownie points." You're actually bringing yourself down and making yourself less desirable. It's unfair that they can destroy our lives and we shouldn't even wallow.
Re: Common theme C-Note: You are Batman. If not, you've got me fooled. My feelings just squeez between my finger everytime I try to grasp them tight and control them. Maybe that's my problem.
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