Re: So it was finalized (what now?) harmonix321: I hope my therapist is equally helpful. And I really hope that the new relationship implodes spectacularly. As much as I care about her, I don't want her to be happy with the man she cheated on me with.
[quote author=Asa link=topic=23030.msg213694#msg213694 date=1135307876">
Harmonix321,
I saw a therapist for about six months following my separation/divorce. I still had to do all the hard work myself, but it helped to have someone who pointed out perspectives that I didn't see. My therapist did a good job of shooting me straight, telling me where I was right, and more importantly, telling me where I was wrong. I learned a lot from the experience.
Perhaps your ex is happy about this new relationship right now, but it will always be tainted by the fact that she wasn't playing fair when she started it. Cheaters never win in the end. Just remember that if she cheated with the new guy, she has all the more capacity to cheat on the new guy....So many of these "new relationships" where people cheat on their spouses are just like bottle rockets....off to an exciting and fast start....and then, BOOM!
Hope that helps a bit. If not, please disregard...
[/quote">
Re: So it was finalized (what now?) dumpling: harmonix, do you have children? if not, i don't see how or why you would continue contact with her. i know i don't want to be "friends" with someone who did to me what he did. i can't get past it. he can have all of me or none of me. end of story.
it will get easier as you continue without contact.
Re: So it was finalized (what now?) harmonix321: [quote author=dumpling link=topic=23030.msg213717#msg213717 date=1135311663">
harmonix, do you have children? if not, i don't see how or why you would continue contact with her. i know i don't want to be "friends" with someone who did to me what he did. i can't get past it. he can have all of me or none of me. end of story.
it will get easier as you continue without contact.
[/quote">
Just the thought of never contacting her again makes me ill. I'd like to check in once in a while at least to see how she's doing. Send holiday/birthday cards occasionally. Maybe I'll feel differently later. Oh well, at least 2 more weeks of no contact.
Re: So it was finalized (what now?) harmonix321: Am I crazy for wanting to keep in contact on some level other than absolutely no contact forever? I know she still loves me, even if she won't admit it vocally. It's clear that she cares a great deal about me, but she is avoiding me for now for reasons unclear to me, but that I suspect have a great deal to do with the other man.
sigh... well, 2 more weeks of no contact and it will have been a month of no contact. And that's a good thing no matter how you look at it.
[quote author=harmonix321 link=topic=23030.msg213757#msg213757 date=1135322976">
[quote author=dumpling link=topic=23030.msg213717#msg213717 date=1135311663">
harmonix, do you have children? if not, i don't see how or why you would continue contact with her. i know i don't want to be "friends" with someone who did to me what he did. i can't get past it. he can have all of me or none of me. end of story.
it will get easier as you continue without contact.
[/quote">
Just the thought of never contacting her again makes me ill. I'd like to check in once in a while at least to see how she's doing. Send holiday/birthday cards occasionally. Maybe I'll feel differently later. Oh well, at least 2 more weeks of no contact.
[/quote">
Re: So it was finalized (what now?) dumpling: harmonix,
the thought of never again hearing from my husband kills me, too. but contact does me more harm than good. maybe as you begin to heal you will be able to have positive contact with her. i wish you the best.
d
Click More for the next page.
