Re: Taking a deep breath...I can do this. Can't I? manda: Yeah, well, I kept from crying for a while. I laid in bed the whole time my son was gone but I WAS breathing...
Then they came back and they had brought me a plate of food. So I sat and ate it with H and all of a sudden just started crying. (Son was already in other room playing with new game on computer--thank goodness) So, he felt bad. I felt bad for making him feel bad. It was just not a good scene. I don't want him to comfort me when he is the one doing this to me.
Why couldn't I have at least waited until later?
This day has been tough. I hope tomorrow is easier.
Re: Taking a deep breath...I can do this. Can't I? flyaway: oh big hugs for you! :-\ I'm sorry you're having a crappy day....I'm counting on the promise that countless people have made both here and elsewhere:
it will get better someday.
if I say it enough, will you start to believe it? Maybe i will start to believe it too. :-\
Take care, and smile...cause we love you! :) Flyaway
Re: Taking a deep breath...I can do this. Can't I? jadedangel: [color=navy"> So first of all .. I will apologize for being late ... Second of all -- listen to Goose .. he knows what he is saying! *that will never be said again so please note it in the history books*
OMG ... Random .. if you can't do this -- I don't know a soul that can. You are one of the toughest people I know ... except that bouncer at the bar -- but, we won't count him. You cannot .. I repeat .. cannot let yourself psych yourself out about all this -- I know you will get this late ... but, freakin hell *coughs* ... your doing more than your fair share. Your son will realize all that you have done for him one day -- even if it isn't in the soon to be future .. he will one day. Don't underestimate a 15 yr old....I was 15 when I wised up to my biologial father ... and don't think I can't look back and know I was right for every bit of anger I hold.
You hate standing his family up because ... holy crap you are a way better person than your ex. That is nothing new to us. Personally .. I don't think you should play the 'happy family' .. especially for him (your ex) ... I think you should let his family know exactly what crap he has given you ... I don't understand why you think you need to coverup for his idiocy ... Ok .. I will be nice here ... and sorta just end it --- but believe me ... I think enough.
It's only a few hours --- but, it is still a few hours. Should we really go over what can happen in a few hours ... I will ... might not be pretty ... but I will.
Yep ... tell your dad --- like Goose said -- and I would of before now. Angry for buying for him -- I sorta think that will be the least of his worries. But --- I ... no I can't be wrong ;) .. Seriously, sounds like your dad is going to do nothing but support you .. and get your ex's a$$ taken care of .. which it needs to be. You got him a gift? You are a better person than me......
No anger --- that is something I know all too well. I am really surprised you have to even question if you are alone in all of that? Perhaps .. my relationship doesn't really count like it should .... but, I hold no ill will for my ex ... I am not angry with him ... I can't tell you what it means. I don't understand it ... I realize the reasons why I should be --- I have listed them but, it still doesn't come. I wish I could actually ... I think it would help me move on. Who knows ... maybe it gives me false whatevers. But, just because you are not angry .. doesn't mean you should have to deal with things the way you do.
And .... be on .. if it helps -- wish I was around more to thwap you into shape ;) ... I might hafta give you my number ... just in case no one is around *goose* ..... to get your a$$ into that leather skirt and chin up! I need you strong for when I need a shoulder to cry on ... ;) ...
:hugs: ... Hang in there.
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Re: Taking a deep breath...I can do this. Can't I? manda: Ah, shucks guys. Thanks. You're the best.
Today isn't as crappy as yesterday. I think I'll just read my new book--it is a really good one--and hide from the world. Deal with it tomorrow. That really is a relief for me. Yesterday i was forcing myself to deal with it. Those days suck.
Tonight I will go to my friends house for a while. That will be kind of nice. I guess that means I have to get dressed at some point today.
I got some cool gifts from my dad, though...that is a plus. And I get to shop at Talbots this week with a BIG ole gift certificate. That is a plus too.
GLAD to see that JAded is in the land of the living. Missed you lately. I might need to get that leather skirt soon...It can't hurt.
And thanks, O.G. for the break. i don't give myself enough of those. HEY, Fly and Goose--you guys with wings rock!
Re: Taking a deep breath...I can do this. Can't I? Irony: manda..
You are my idol.. glad you made it through the day.
You and I are about at the same time in our separation... it still sux and I miss her badly... It's ok that you loost it in front of him.. he should see how his actions effect you.
{{{{Hugs}}} to you .
Irony
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