now she wants a quickie divorce mikelr11: I am devastated. I came home today trying to talk my wife who i caught cheating into staying with me and getting help together. She rejected it. She told me that she loves me but she is not in love with me, and probably never would be. In one breath she says she wants to move out and see where we are in a few months or so, and then i asked her if she wanted to hold off on getting a divorce. she said that she wants a quickie divorce. i know shes not with the om any more, so i know that its not that. I dont think shes thinking straight. her mom just died in august, and she hasnt been the same since. we have no kids (just a dog that is like a child to us), and shes walking away from me and the dog. I gave her everything i could. when we got married we had no money. i have become successful and given her a nice life in a million dollar home without ever a worry about money. she said that when she leaves next weak all she wants is $150,000 and shell leave me everything else (my businesses and properties, our house, the dog, the furniture) i dont know why she hates me so much. she drinks at least 4 glasses of wine a day and i dont know for sure if she is an alcoholice (she says that shes not) The pain that i feel is unbearable. i dont think i could ever love another person again. I feel as though if i move on with my life without her all ill ever do is compare any person i meet to her (and to me, nobody could ever compare, even with all of the heartache that she has caused me) I am so in love with her. We met at the age of 21 and are 33 now. i feel like we grew up together. she is my best friend in the world. i am devastated. please help me. ill be forever greatful for any advice i can get.
Re: now she wants a quickie divorce dontgetit: You are asking questions that no one can answer. Who knows why people do what they do - if she was having an affair there is definately something lacking in your relationship (it might be that neither of you can put your finger on it - sometimes things are). Let her go and if she is yours she will ome back, if not she never was - my heart goes out to you, but you will survive.....I am 3 months into the same sort of thing (only she moved in with the other man and left a child behind), so count your lucky stars it could be worse.
Re: now she wants a quickie divorce frontier74: I agree with you that she isn't thinking straight, but to her, it probably feels like she's thinking straight for the first time in her life, since she knows with absolute certainty that you aren't what she wants.
Without knowing what led up to this, and I doubt that you know at this point either, it's very hard to say what might help your situation. One thing about your post really stands out like a sore thumb though -- your complete acceptance of her infidelity.
Why are you so willing to accept this treatment? She's gone to extreme lengths to show you that she has no respect for you, and your unconditional acceptance isn't going to help, at all. In my opinion, the best thing that you could do is to make sure she understands how poorly she has treated you and that a divorce may be for the best. Then let her go do her own thing, and you do your own thing. Stop chasing her. Stop pleading. Stop accepting bad treatment and set some boundaries. If you stop chasing, she may not feel the need to flee so quickly.
If she does ever come back, it will only be to a man that she can actually respect. A woman cannot feel "in love" with a man that she doesn't respect, and she can't respect a man whom she's able to walk over while he kisses her feet.
Re: now she wants a quickie divorce Dolphin Close: Cheating. Request for quickie divorce.
She's doing you a favor. She's making it easier for you. Take note i said easy not painless.
Sorry that she walked out on you before Christmas. Seems like she has personal issues you won't be able to help her with. Search yourself if you deserve to be cheated on. The fact that she invalidated your bestfriend-ship by kissing another man in public is horrible. Can you live with that if she changes her mind and goes back to you?
Re: now she wants a quickie divorce manda: These first few days are going to be very tough, I won't lie to you. I remember my first few days and I am feeliing very sad for you that yours will be here at Christmas. Thank goodness you have found this site this early on in your situation because you will find that at the loneliest times, OJAR is there in ways that friends cannot be. Cling to that. Read all you can here and post all your feelings.
so sorry mikel...
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