Re: The request lines are now open DLA: Dio,
Using multiple relationships as an addictive avoidance (escapism) from the primary relationship. Like using a video game, but it's another person.
Anything that generates positive emotions and is readily available is susceptible to be used as an addiction as an avoidance method.
I've never used alcohol in this way, either. However, some do. I'm not a gambling addict, yet some others are. It's the particular behavioural paths that were created early in life that make the difference of which addiction is more likely.
Re: The request lines are now open Dio: OIC....
So, if you are a compulsive cheater, is there a way to.... say.... redirect it into something a little less hurtful?
I'd hate to think it's hopeless.
I mean, I play video games and read as a form of escapism, but I could burn all my books and throw away the video games and it wouldn't make me anxious.
Re: The request lines are now open DLA: Yes, there is a way to stop it. Redirect, no - because then that just becomes a concurrent addiction.
There are ways of stopping it. Just 'not doing it' is not possible. I don't play video games, and I haven't compulsively read, and I'm not in any relationship - but that doesn't mean that I don't find other means to escape from myself. It is about finding ways of handling the anxiety in the first place - where does it come from, what the emotions and situations are and what they mean, how to recognize and find new methods of handling it.
It goes back to the idea of compulsive and powerless. Can you 'just stop' eating? The hunger that happens as a result of fasting - for however long - is the emotional equivalent of powerless and compulsive actions of an addiction. As an analogy, everyone is 'addicted' to eating and drinking. They are behavioral actions which we have learned to handle certain physical and emotional ways of living. It is when there is a dysfunctional action learned - something that harms the self instead of keeps it growing and living - is when it is a problem. Such as my own issues.
Re: The request lines are now open Dio: Okay.
I hadn't realize you saw it that way. So what I guess I'm not clear on, is whether or not you've identified the source of the anxiety you are displacing. Or are you still searching for it?
There are things on your page that elude that you might know what it is, but nothing definative.
Re: The request lines are now open DLA: No, I have found much of it. It has to do with being smothered with the family environment, and yet abandoned emotionally as well as used emotionally by my parents (mother especially) to relieve their anxiety.
It is to understand why I have played at being single while being in a relationship I care about.
The ugly thing is that it only shows up in relationships. :'(
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