My Christmas Wish charmed: Dear _______,
You won’t see this, but somehow I hope you will “feel” my words even through the distance. I have no idea what your life is like now. I don’t know if you’re happy; if you have someone else or if you cry at night missing me and thinking you made a huge mistake. I have no idea if you feel any remorse or if you’re glad you aren’t with me. These things I may never know.
Today as I celebrated Christmas Eve with my children I held back the tears. I couldn’t let them see the pain of missing you and retracing the two years we were together. They loved and respected you as well and I’m sure they feel a loss. How could they not? As you once said, “we were your extended family.
Last Christmas was beautiful. You cooked a wonderful dinner. Everything looked so pretty that I took pictures. You always said you loved my sentimental side. I still have every card, every flower petal from the bouquets you gave me, pictures - everything, except you. We watched a Christmas movie and ended the night with making love for hours. You held me tenderly as you always did. I fell asleep in your arms. I don’t know how two people could possibly sleep any closer. Our fit was perfect. What a wonderful gift it was to wake up next to you on Christmas morning. You always said that I was most beautiful to you when you looked into my eyes in the morning. Nothing compared to seeing your beautiful brown eyes as I awoke.
You had plans at your parents’ house and I wrapped their presents like I always did. I may have never told you, but I loved doing that. It wasn’t a chore. You left and then came back in the evening to join my children and me and we spent the next few days together. I treasure each moment spent with you and doubt those moments will ever be forgotten. I’m not exactly sure what to do with them. Maybe I’ll wrap them in faded paper and tuck them away, one day retracing to “long ago and far away”.
Even though I write a lot of poetry, I always told you that I’d never been able to precisely express my feelings for you. How do you express that someone means everything to you. How do you express that they are so much a part of you that it’s difficult to separate one from the other. You once felt this way. We used to debate over who loved the other more. I guess I won, but never was it a contest, nor did I think I’d win the “debate”.
You used to accidentally call me your wife. There wasn't a need to appologize. I wanted to one day be your wife. You spoke of this dream so many times. You spoke of our life together into old age. Where did it all go?
Over the last seven months I’ve tried to be strong and in many ways I have been, but the pain of losing you has been immeasurable. You always said that you felt God brought us together. I believed the same. The chances of us meeting were a zillion to one, yet we were brought together. The Bible says there is a purpose for everything under the heavens. I know “we” had purpose, but somehow I feel you rebelled against God’s purpose. Or maybe our purpose was only for a chapter in time. Who knows? Maybe it’s something that isn’t to be questioned, but embraced with love for what “once was”.
On this Christmas Day I wish you happiness as if it were my own. I wish you love, comfort and peace. I pray you listen to God’s voice to guide you and lift you and lead you back to Him and away from the destructive path you began.
As I lay my head on a tear-stained pillow tonight I wish for one thing only - I wish that you still remember me.
I’ll always love you,
K
Re: My Christmas Wish JNA: Yes it is said the everyone we cross paths with in life we meet for a reason...
There is also a saying that says...
You never know what can happen...
BTW...Very beautiful letter
IMO
JNA
Charmed wrote: How do you express that someone means everything to you. How do you express that they are so much a part of you that it’s difficult to separate one from the other.
You shouldn't have too express it verbally...
My Dad and his wife know this without speaking a word of it to each other...You can see it
