Re: THANK YOU for making this SO easy... smokin: jna love the saying, its very true. "miss the dream, not the reality"
amanda, as i told you alot, only you can decide, wether you want to keep the relationship above water alone. do what you think is right.
but dont make a decision based on being scared to be alone. you wont. and you have a great head on those shoulders.
asshat award anyone? lol....
Re: THANK YOU for making this SO easy... BambiC: While trying to deal with this whole situation and thinking about possible reconciliation (if it's an option) I try to remind myself that the chance of things working out long term is slim to none. If my h and I do stay married I'm only going to delay the inevitable. Since my h first said he wanted a divorce I've been identifying so many of his traits that I had over looked previously that now I can't understand how I lived with...or better why I allowed myself to live with. Even if we worked things out those things about him wouldn't change and ultimately we'd be in the same place only farther down the line.
The way I look at it is why delay what's going to ultimately happen. One, I deserve better and two, I'm at the best point to move on. We don't have children, I'm still young why prolong things until it's even harder to make the break.
Let him give you reasons to make this easier...he'll keep them coming. Unless he's willing to seek major couseling, etc if he says he was a bad husband what makes him think that he'll be a better one if you try again. The fact that he keeps toying with you emotionally should just be another reason to break free. He's being selfish. He knows he's not allowing you to move on because he's not ready for it.
JNA is right its the dream not the reality that you miss. Every time you start to miss the dream concentrate on the reality. It will help you get through those points.
BambiC
Re: THANK YOU for making this SO easy... flowersdirtandgardengirl: Oprah said it best. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them".
When I die, I want to come back as Oprah. ;)
~gg
Re: THANK YOU for making this SO easy... genesplicer: Leave it to Oprah to put something so simply... :)
I think you've gotten a lot of good thougts so far on this one random, but the bottom line is that you deserve a HEALTHY relationship, whether it's with your h or not. I know I'm a little biased and bitter myself right now about the whole 'people can change' issue.
People don't change unless they really want to, and this might be one of those red flags that he hasn't done the kind of self examination that might have lead to a more healthy reconciliation if you go that route.
We all have bad nights, moments when we just want everything to go back how they were... But it gets easier, really it does.
I second goose's nomination for that @sshat award.
