Re: Guys who have cheated?! superwife: [quote author=gg link=topic=23519.msg219072#msg219072 date=1136416307">
During the times of various relationships when I was unhappy enough to want out, I said it. I talked about it and hopefully I was as honest as I remember myself being.
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See that's kind of my problem now (as I open a can of worms). I'm don't think I'm happy with what I have now. By no means am I considering cheating, but I want to be honest w/him, and do not want to hurt him as I was (by waiting for something better to come along). I am so scared of hurting others...
Re: Guys who have cheated?! superwife: [quote author=alonewith2 (s-n-b) link=topic=23519.msg219088#msg219088 date=1136417139">
Maybe I'm a little too innocent and naive, but whenever I even "considered" cheating on someone, it made me feel awful...to the point where I would break up with whoever I was with. I felt that if I could have those thoughts, then it meant I didn't really love the person I was with.
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At first, it's not awful. but when you realize it's more than a fling, and you can't walk away, then you feel awful. At least for me it was (and i'm guessing it was for my ex, which is why he is being such a pr***!!
Re: Guys who have cheated?! Gabo: I never cheated although it crossed my mind. I don't want to talk a lot about it but I will just say that I was just naive. I wanted to experience other women and I thought that she would never find out so it wouldn't be a problem. (I was 20). Nothing physical happned and I thank God now but I had an emotional affair.
Before she left me for OM. She was with a BF for a year while we talked on the phone everyday (we were on a break) , she cheated on him and then came back to me. Also before this happened in the first year of our relationship she cheated on me twice (drunk make out)..
I don't know, instead of seeing the how bad can it burn I think I am starting to change. I want to be the whore. I want to have one night stands with every girl that goes to a bar, I want to cheat, I want to betray. I am tired of being the nice good guy.
Just a thought. The Good Nice me is still quite strong and haven't let me do anything bad... yet.
Re: Guys who have cheated?! snkpack5: I'm not a guy but here goes.
People cheat because they are looking for something they are not getting in their current relationship. You may think you were doing EVERYTHING to please someone, but perhaps not.
My ex cheated on me twice. I think I know the reason why. I hated having sex with him. I used to lie there like a sack of potatoes waiting for it to be over because I just thought it was a huge waste of time. Try having an orgasm in under two minutes in the doggy style position with no foreplay. COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
He cheated cause I wasn't sexually exciting to him. He wasn't sexually exciting to me but I never cheated. I was lonely because he didn't talk to me about things, but I never cheated. I didn't feel like he appreciated me, but I never cheated.
Bottom line, the impulse (reason) behind cheating is ALWAYS there in every relationship. Its the actual acting on the compulsion that separates the strong from the weak.
Re: Guys who have cheated?! dragonfly: I don't know if I can help with this topic or not. I was the one cheated on...my ex had an affair with a friend, now they are living together with their son(all happened in less than a year).
Anyway...I asked this same question to anyone who was willing to give me an answer and this was the most common answer I got...
Sometimes when people cheat...it really has nothing to do with their spouse...it was more to do with something inside themselves. They are unhappy...they don't know why...they assume it's their marriage and if an opportunity presents itself...they lose the ability to resist. They then "talk" themselves into seeing every imperfection and little annoyance in their spouse, sometimes picking fights, exiting the relationship mentally and emotionally long before they do physically, all to justify the affair. Then once the affair begins it's like an addiction...it's all consuming and the cheater is willing to risk anything and everything in order to keep that feeling going because they are just so sure that they would never be feeling these things if it wasn't meant to be. My ex nearly lost his job as well as his marriage, home and friends. He's still making the best of the affair, especially because they now have a son...but he's told people that he's got to see this through, it might have been a mistake but his son needs both of his parents. He also told another friend that they screwed things up so badly with their spouses (she was married too, still is actually), that they're stuck with eachother now.
I wouldn't know these things except for the loyalty of some of my friends who's husbands still talk to or hear from him now and then.
I know our marriage wasn't perfect, I know I'm not perfect...but our relationship was envied by our friends, I was very happy and the affair and how quickly our marriage ended came completely out of left field...many of us(friends and family) suspected that he had entered into a depression but he refused to seek help. Shortly after we saw the signs of depression, he started drinking heavily, then came the affair.
Like I said, I don't know if that helps or not...it didn't help me in the beginning, but the better I get and the further away from the hurt I get, the more I believe it was something missing in him that he tried to fill in the arms of the OW.
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