Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? Girlyburd: Okay so here it is 8:30pm. No H around, guess he finally got the b#lls to do it, he just needed a good reason, like friday night.
Since I didnt know he had made up his mind, I called him to invite him out for dinner to talk, set up a babysitter and everything. He declined, has other plans, not coming home. I took the kids to McDonalds for time to play, when I got home, his closet had been cleared out. Guess he's gonna be gone for more than one night.
He said he would call me tomorrow, I told him if I wasnt too busy, I might answer.
Not so bad yet, 4 hours in...no tears, no anger, not sad. Kinda quiet, sort of like it. What does this mean? I dont feel anything. He could be on a date for all I know...shouldnt I care???????
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? Girlyburd: 10:30, he calls. I dont answer, what could he possibly have to say?
He leaves VM, says "Im at J's house, ordered pizza, gonna stay here tonight, call me if you need me."
Mmmm k.... nope, not needing you, thanks for the update, even if it is a lie.
Got a head ache, gonna take a tylenol pm, see what tomorrows got for me.
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? tracy: Wow... he is gone, huh? How are you holding up? I had another bad night, sad and depressed. I just don't know if mine will ever come back and if he does I know it is going to be a while... :(
Need someone to talk to?
hang in there...
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? Girlyburd: UPDATE:
Well, as soon as I went to bed last night, my garage door opened. He came in with an overnight bag. I talked to him briefly, asked him why he was here. He said he missed me. That was sweet, but Im not falling that easy. I asked if he thought we would get back together (two couples we know are separated, doesnt look good for them) he said he didnt know we had broken up. Huh? You moved your closet to a friends house?
Im not up for games, is this for real or just to mess me up more than I already am? He tried to snuggle throughout the night, but I blocked the attempts. I didnt want to regret anything when tomorrow he changes his mind again.
This morning he got up and left before I woke. Big surprise. I should have told him not to stay.
He showed up again this afternoon unannounced. He played basketball with the kids for 1/2 hour, came in, packed more stuff and left while I was in the shower.
I called him and told him I would not allow him to waltz in and out of my life and home as it was convenient for him. He said do you want me to get the rest of my stuff now? I said if you dont live here I want you to give me the same respect you would in a friends house and notify me before letting yourself in. He said I had planned on tspending the day here with the kids tomorrow. We had just decided yesterday that he would take them next weekend. I guess I could just leave for the day. Its hard to know where to draw the lines in the sand, especially when he just erases them as soon as I do.
I know he loves me, but he's lost and confused. Im scared to lose him, afraid to put myself on the line again and take him back. I dont know if I should let him be or insist he come home. Im afraid hes going to do something (see another woman) that I wont be able to forgive him for, even if he changes his mind. And why should I let him come and go as he pleases. How great would that be to live a single life in a bachelors pad with two other separated guys who are looked to meet women, then come home to wife and kids whenever you are lonely. I dont think so, theres gonna be some serious boundaries set, think Im changing the locks tomorrow.
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? snkpack5: I wish I could explain why guys do this. After my ex left it was sweep in whenever he wanted. I asked for his house keys back and he wouldn't give them. He would come and let himself in whenever he wanted to and dig through my stuff to see what I was up to. I hated him for leaving me and then on top of that to not leave completely and let me move on. He still is this way. If he's moving his stuff out, I would say its over. And you're right, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. If he sleeps with someone now while you are separated, then its okay ala Ross. But he seems to be trying to keep the family option open too for when its convenience for him. Love is a gift, not an obligation. He should WANT to be there always.
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