Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? tracy: My husband moved out 1 week ago and I am going nuts! I want him back so badly, I wouldn't push him to stay with a friend unless you are totally sure about this. Think to the worst; think what if he doesn't come back to you and your children? I wouldn't encourage him moving... I packed my husbands stuff for him and now I regret it!!!! I really wish I would of made him pack his own stuff that was my mistake... Be careful what you wish for, just my advice. I have 4 kids too, and they miss him very much too!
I want him back, he isn't ready....:(
Take care and good luck...
Tracy
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? Girlyburd: He just called on his lunch break. Says hes standing in the garage with the truck backed in and cant decide if he wants to pack it up and leave or not. I told him I didnt have an answer and would call him later (Im at work).
Called back, he says he took enough that he doesnt need to come home tonight, but it doesnt feel right. He says coming home doesnt feel right either and he doesnt know what hes going to do. He pointed out all of the things he doesnt like about me.
Like Ive said in other posts, Ive had a lot of time to think lately. There is plenty I dont like about him, like when he gets frustrated that our 10yo didnt do something to his liking and says "Come on, dont be a moron, do it right!" in a tone that makes me cringe. He is consistantly calling our son an idiot, moron or stupid. I shouldnt let him get away with that. I do intervene, but then what does that say to our son? He senses the division in us. I should also note that E is my son from another relationship, but S has raised him since he was 3yo and is the only dad he's ever known.
So I dont know, the plot thickens. I told him I am going home tonight, he needs to decide where he will be going on his own. I wont let him make me choose, then blame me later and tell my kids I made him go.
Still not sure ???
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? snkpack5: Girlyburd and tracy,
I'd like to share my story with you a little cause I think it might help. When I was about 8 months pregnant with my second child, my ex packed up some stuff and left. I had just come back from the movies with my two year old daughter (we had just seen Dinosaur). He walked out as we walked in with a huge duffel bag on his arm. He didn't say a word to me. A few days later he came by and I told him we needed to talk. He told me he didn't love me anymore. I asked what he would do if I tried to hug him and he told me not to. I asked him to go to counseling, he said no. I asked him if he wanted to come back, he said no. I filed for divorce. He blames me for the breakup of our marriage. Basically the reason I'm reliving this pain for you is to point something out. My ex gave me every reason (out of his mouth in his own words) to believe it was over. He didn't give me a shred of hope, no maybes, no perhaps, no give me time. Nothing. So I made a conscious decision to move on. I found out years later (after I had gotten over him and decided it was the best thing for me) that he did not want it to be over. He just felt trapped by the whole family man thing and wanted some time to be single and free again. He always intended to come back. Funny how things work out isn't it. His actions got me what I wanted (out of an unhappy marriage) and his lies got him what he didn't want (the breakup of our marriage). I can't make the choice for you, only you know in your heart what's right for you. But just cause they SAY something doesn't mean its the truth. Pride is a sticky treat and sometimes it tough to swallow.
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? brokenbaby: This is the third time my husband left. The first it was two weeks, and I waited. The second it was two months of I want a divorce. So I filed for divorce and it hurt like hell. He came back a few weeks later and we called off the divorce a couple months later. He hadn't changed an eyelash. I have a journal entry from a month after he came back saying 'be careful what you wish for'. I had changed in the time he was gone he hadn't. He left again. I filed less then a month later. And it hurt like hell again. Worse this time because last time I kept sending him letters and talking to him on the phone. This time I haven't talked to him once. Anyway, the moral of my story is...don't wait. Find your happiness and start that road now. I am dieing inside knowing it wont be with him. But all of the wonderful folks here and my therapist and everyone else keep reminding me........someday I will be free.
"Leap......and the net will appear."
Re: Limbo...Do I wait for him to make up his mind...or decide for him? Roe: Sounds like he's made his decision- he picked uncertainty. Why do the same thing? Don't allow him to put you on hold while he decides what is best for HIM! What is best for you? What do you want? ... A man that doesn't really know if he wants you is not an ideal partner. Someone out there will want you 100 percent.
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