Re: Still young? Zipsfb: WOWOWOW.... lots of comments THANKS!!!
I have been thinking about this perception of being old and there are good parts of it. I don't like to waste time, and am more willing to get out there and enjoy life while I am still young and healthy. I don't act old, but I do feel old... but only really in relationships. I don't think I'm depressed, actually pretty happy. I do think I am lonely and that I feel like I won't ever meet anyone, thus old.
My X is 20, and I feel like the 2 years is a lot My parents were married at 20, and they make sure to remind me that I am not getting younger. My X's parents married at 29, and so I think she is more willing to go out there and take the risk of meeting someone else.
Re: Still young? MsHippie: When you experience a serious relationship with all of the emotions and turmoil to go with it at a young age, it makes you feel older. I am 23 and in the process of being divorced from my husband of 4 and a half years. We have 2 toddlers with a 3rd baby on the way in just a few weeks now. I feel old. Older and wiser. I feel completely alienated from MOST other people my age, except for a couple of close friends who have families of their own. They are right though... we are still young with plenty of years ahead to find love. It's hard to think about that though when your mind is still fresh with memories of the time and effort you've invested into a relationship that has failed.
Re: Still young? Polly: I never even bothered with a relationship until I was 22. I thought I was an island until then. When he first brought up marriage I was like "are you nuts? we're so young...all the time in the world". So when I WAS finally ready to be married I knew i was doing it because I was in love with a person who was right for me, and not because all my friends had done it. However, I think the reason he left and wouldn't reconcile was due to his immature emotions. He broke up like a teenage boy, and he's pushing 30. He's a "grown up" in every other sense, good job, homeowner, responsible, but cleary didn't have the ability to sort through a rough patch in the relationship. He had almost always had a girlfriend in his life since he was a teenager, so I really think he never had time to be introspective and figure himself and life out. I think that is SO important.
Now that the relationship is over, I am even more thankful I had the chance to be an "island". I know who I am and exactly what I want. I wasn't the one who got lost in the relationship. Sadly, what I wanted didn't want me back, because I don't think he had a clue what the h**l he wanted. Does that make sense? Get to know yourself as yourself, not as so-and-so's partner. Our 20's can be a time of HUGE growth and transition. While it is nice to grow with another person, you may have a deeper strength if you have the opportunity to be your own best friend.
Re: Still young? Zipsfb: Thanks everyone again for all of the posts.... they all do help!
I never saw the fact that she left me as a good thing. I knew what I wanted, she didn't... she cheated I was always loyal. A lot of people know how inadequate it feels when someone choses to leave. In the time we have been apart (7 months) she has been with 3 guys, and I briefly dated one girl before I broke it off.
My friends getting married makes me feel old because I have always been the one looking to get married, not them. I have always put my priority into find "the one" and was sure I had accomplished just that, and when it failed I felt like I had spent most of college (which seems like the only place I will meet someone, since that's where my parents met) pursuing someone who acted like they wanted what I did only to cheat and dump me to the side.
Sometimes I feel like this is just like high school BS, but wasn't college supposed to be different? When do people finally grow up and actually want longevity in a relationship, not based on circumstance. I am a good looking/athletic man, I'm really nice, but most people tell me what I'm looking for I can find in a 26+ year old, and not girls my age. I don't want to wait 4+ years to feel safe in a relationship again...
Re: Still young? seabreezy1010: I totally get where you are coming from. I am 24, I have a 3yr old and one on the way. I feel like once I have the baby, my life will be over. no one will want a 25 yr old with 2 young kids. I might as well be in my 60's becasue I feel as though there is no hope for me meeting someone else, so I know where you are at. All I can tell you is to try to stay positive and date when you are ready.
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