advice needed about the ex in sex Jesy Ransier: I need advice.
How do you come to terms with the fact your ex will be with other people. The thought of it puts a painful feeling in my stomach. WTF, Logically I know that it will happen, but I can not come to terms with it... Any help?
Re: advice needed about the ex in sex tara: I'm not really wired for sexual jealousy, so I never got the "oooh he'll be sleeping with her" knots. (I did get the "he took her somewhere he'd never go with me, dammit" pouting, but that's less severe.)
In all honesty, I know for a lot of people it goes away when they start dating/having sex themselves. I'm not saying sleep with someone to exorcise the ghosts, but when the time comes, it'll be easier to think about your ex in that situation (or, more specifically, you won't think about your ex in that situation).
Re: advice needed about the ex in sex sudboy: [quote author=Jesy link=topic=23571.msg219303#msg219303 date=1136445232">
I need advice.
How do you come to terms with the fact your ex will be with other people. The thought of it puts a painful feeling in my stomach. WTF, Logically I know that it will happen, but I can not come to terms with it... Any help?
[/quote">
Jesy,
I know what you are going through here and I can tell you that you will eventualy learn to be OK with it. The thought of my wife being with someone else blew me away at first also. It was especially tough for me right after I'd learned that our separation was not about her problems with me but was instead about her cheating on me with someone else.
As an aside I also had to ask her some painful questions -- namely whether she'd had sex with him and had subsequently been with me (turns out she hadn't) as you've got to make sure you are protecting yourself... This might sound cruel but it's an entirely reasonable and responsible concern for you to raise if she has an OM.
But I can tell you that you will reach a point where you can let go of thoughts about her being with someone else. And it might happen faster than you think. In about three weeks I got to the point where I don't care anymore about her being with someone else. For one thing I reached the point where I have almost completely cut her cheating butt out of my daily life -- and that was a big help. For another I realized that dwelling on what she's doing with her life and whether she's rolling around in the sack with her new boyfriend are entirely counterproductive for me. It's not my problem and it's a waste of time to think about. I have my own life to live and remember that so do you. You need to make sure that you look out for and take care of yourself first now. Because that's precisely what she's doing too.
This might sound nutty but the method that helped me have peace was to use an imaginary box where I file thoughts about her (namely things about her that are outside my control and concern) in. I put a lot of thoughts about her in this box because quite frankly it doesn't make a bit of difference who she sleeps with now or what she is doing with her life. All I need to remember is that it's not going to be with me ever again....and you know what? I'm fine with that -- and you'll be okay with it too at some point.
Sudboy
Re: advice needed about the ex in sex seabreezy1010: Okay, i am having this problem as well. My ex left me 4 weeks ago for o/w. He had cheated on me a couple of times with her, and got her pregnant. They are together now, and I have a hard time dealing with the idea of them having sex. I can get past a lot of things, but am really struggling with this one. I have read the previous posts and they help, but I am still having a hard time with the images of it. I also still have dreams about he and I together, intimately, so I have to get past this.
Re: advice needed about the ex in sex snkpack5: For me it was easy cause my ex sucked in bed. If he had been a stud, I would have had problems with it. You'll discover that once your feelings for them are gone, you won't care who they're boinking!
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