Should a woman take first contact? callaway: I was in a bar for the first time since my breakup 5 months ago. I was there with my brother. We watched the "scene" and talked about different people in the bar. I asked him from a male point of view how I should do to show my interest in a guy. He said guys want to be the "alfa male" and take the first step, talk to a girl or ask her to dance. He said I should just make myself availible to the guy I'm interested in by stepping up beside him to order a beer or something, but let him do the approach. My brother is quite the womanizer, is this true for all guys? What about the ones that are a bit shy? I would prefer meeting a shy guy rather than a cocky womanizer. Would the shy guy dare to approch me(except possibly when too drunk and totally unattractive because of that)?
What is a good pickupline? In bars and of course otherwhere. Should you just be frank and walk up to a guy and ask for his number?
Re: Should a woman take first contact? jillieb44: I've heard this too.
Even the match.com advice line recommends a woman wait for a man to contact her first.
Unfortunately the only ones who contact me are the fat, older, stuck in the 70s bald guys...(no, I'm not opposed to dating bald guys and in fact have e-mailed quite a few!)
Seems to me that of all the men I've contacted, none have worked out at all.
I did have a guy call me last week, said he'd call back the next day (the call was short as he was in his car on his cell and I couldn't hear him at all). He never called or e-mailed. I'm not contacting him.
I think there is something to it, for sure.
Jillie
Re: Should a woman take first contact? frontier74: Try making the first move, but keep it subtle. Find a guy who looks interesting and then merely let him know that you are friendly and that you've noticed him.
You can do this by simply making eye-contact, smiling at him, saying hi, asking him a question, or any other seemingly harmless gesture. If he doesn't take the hint, then give it one more try, using the subtle touch. If he still doesn't respond, then he's either not interested or he's so shy that the idea of talking to you scares the crap out of him.
You said you like shy guys, but how shy are we talking? If you like the really shy ones, then you're going to have to take the initiative and keep at it.
Re: Should a woman take first contact? Trillian: When I was still looking, I would casually look at a guy and if I noticed that he was checking me out as well, I would smile or do a little wave, and then leave the rest to him. ;D That worked out perfect..
Re: Should a woman take first contact? tara: Any man who would feel threatened/intimidated/wronged by me walking up to him and saying "Hi, I'm Tara" would probably not get along with me in the long term. (That's a good pickup line, BTW. "Hi." It's a lot better than anything cheesy. If pressed, just say, "well, I saw you when I walked in and wanted to meet you.")
As it stands, I first asked J to get together in person (this was when we were collaborating on a project, though).
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