Humorscope - January 5, 2006 jen: Hmmmmm....I wonder where "they" are hiding those experimental hovercrafts :P
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Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Don't worry about your hair. It's your breath that makes people look at you like that.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
A relative will be seriously injured today, when a man dressed as a huge shrimp abandons his post at the opening of a seafood restaurant, steals an experimental hovercraft, and crashes it into your relative's motor vehicle. The worst part is, the insurance company will refuse to pay a cent.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Another day of social convention defiance, today. You'll refuse to wear clothes in the "normal" fashion (if at all), and you'll begin all your business correspondence: "My Darling Snookums:."
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will be hit on the head by a carton of yogurt today, which will not strike you as being the least bit funny at the time. Later, of course, you'll all have a good laugh about it.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you will invent a new type of automated squid sorter, for use by professional squid fishermen. You will call it the Squid Pro Quo. That will be a mistake.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will be plagued by theological doubts today, and will flirt with the idea of changing your religion. Subconsciously, this is because you're envious of the really cool hats some of the people in other religions get to wear.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will have an intellectual discussion with a potato, soon. You'll be so caught up in whether it was Descartes or Voltaire who first advocated empiricism, that it will fail to strike you as a bit odd that the potato knows much of anything about 17th-century French philosophers. In fact, it knows more about them than you do. Later, that will irritate you.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Several extremely hungry creatures will look at you strangely, today. Throw them a raisin cookie.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Someone will stop you today, to ask directions. Tell them to take the second star to the right, and go straight on till morning. (I personally never ask for directions, since I find it's always much more effective to find someone who looks like they know where they're going, and follow them. I also always tell people that my name is "Svlad." It's something to do.)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Good day to be callously indifferent to the plight of the masses. You have larger things on your mind than whether the peasants are happy. Oui?
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical.
Re: Humorscope - January 5, 2006 yella: Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical.
Ummmm.... ok... PG, should we do this, Girl? :D ;D
Re: Humorscope - January 5, 2006 LifeisBetter: [quote"> Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical. [/quote">
another Pisces chick here..... but I don't think sheepdog would suit me very good.
Re: Humorscope - January 5, 2006 Peaceandquiet: Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Several extremely hungry creatures will look at you strangely, today. Throw them a raisin cookie.
Alright who's gettin a cookie?
Re: Humorscope - January 5, 2006 PiscesGoddess: [quote author=Smiley link=topic=23586.msg219426#msg219426 date=1136476605">
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
At this point you have two choices: you can either get a haircut, or dye your hair white and black and pretend to be an old english sheepdog. The latter is usually more fun, but slightly less practical.
Ummmm.... ok... PG, should we do this, Girl? :D ;D
[/quote">
I think maybe a haircut could be in order but the sheepdog look..nooo...although with my roots and blonde hair..maybe I could be considered a sheep dog? ???
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