Re: for anyone wondering when/how their ex will come to their senses flowersdirtandgardengirl: And Mike B,
Yes, I believe in what you said as well. I think the common theme with your examples and is that both partners came to the realization together, rather than one partner trying to subjegate the other into submission :) (a tactic I've tried and it sooo doesn't work).
None of us know what our future holds. I still believe that my ex is the love of my life. I hope that he isn't. I hope that I meet someone new and better and more wonderful and more amazing whom I love endlessly who loves me back in a romantic and passionate and practical way. But I have no idea. But I do know that sitting around waiting for him (while he is not sitting around waiting for me) is no longer an option. And that my decision to move on has to be to better my own life and NOT to try to get him back.
Ok, my rant time is over. I promise. ;)
love,
gg
Re: for anyone wondering when/how their ex will come to their senses Irony: [quote author=gg link=topic=23595.msg219657#msg219657 date=1136493170">
None of us know what our future holds. I still believe that my ex is the love of my life. I hope that he isn't. I hope that I meet someone new and better and more wonderful and more amazing whom I love endlessly who loves me back in a romantic and passionate and practical way. But I have no idea. But I do know that sitting around waiting for him (while he is not sitting around waiting for me) is no longer an option. And that my decision to move on has to be to better my own life and NOT to try to get him back.
gg
[/quote">
Once again, I find myself humbled by the feelings in your words, gg.
I, like you, still believe that my stbxw is and always will be the love of my life...and that, even though she said I was the same to her, obviously I'm not.
Glad to see that this day finds you moving forward on that "journey of a thousand miles that begins with the first footstep."
I'm starting to get more and more days like that myself, and although I'm still sad for the loss of something once so precious, I'm filling my life with things I need to be doing for me and my son, not to simply get her to want to come home.
No, I haven't changed my phone number. No, I haven't moved and left no forwarding address. I'm still right here where she knows how to find me.
If and when she is ever ready, just like you, I may already have already moved on. It's hard to realize sometimes that I could possibly be letting go of such a beautiful love in which so much emotional and spiritual capital had been expended.
I'm looking seriously at the phrase I've read around here often: "I miss the dream, not the reality."
And oh, what a dream it was for sure.
Keep expressing the beauty of your soul through your writing gg. I look forward to your posts.
You are a very special lady and I wish you the best...I know you'll have it someday.
Re: for anyone wondering when/how their ex will come to their senses flyaway: gg,
Yes, I very much agree with your viewpoint on this. When I was at the point during our first separation period, and we were in discussions regarding reconcilliation, my husband accused me of wanting him to jump through hoops.
Now, getting help for his addictions, and seeing a counsellor are not generally considered hoops by most people, to HIM they were. Simply because at the core of him, he was not willing to put ANY effort into saving our marriage.
I think that the more we whine, and beg for our partners to come home, the less they are going to want to. During my first separation (again*rolls eyes*) T said that he found my independance and strength really sexy...and very attractive to him. Whateva! He should have cut his losses and saved us all the heartache that was to come a mere 9 months later! Grrrrrrr.
Ok. off topic. sorry. But still, I think it is much more effective for those people who are genuinely wanting to reconcile, if we maintain our distance, and allow them to regret and pay for what they have done to us.
Just my opinion.
Fly
Re: for anyone wondering when/how their ex will come to their senses Lumpy: I think for me it was more of an ego issue than a genuine desire to reconcile. I wanted to know that it wasn't as easy for her to throw me away as it appeared to be. After I moved out, a couple of chinks appeared in her armor. Not sure if it was because I was looking for them or if they were genuine. Nonetheless, I know my ex well enough to know that she would never come out and say, I screwed up, I want you back. Way too proud, way to stubborn. A true Taurus through and through...
Re: for anyone wondering when/how their ex will come to their senses Bea: Oh dear... This post made me cry. My EX hasn't come back to his senses and I don't think he will. That is the most difficult thing to deal with, to think that I'm simply not good enough for him to want me back in his life, but then again... Does he deserve to have someone like me around him? Do I deserve to have such a shitty guy by my side? Still, it doesn't make it easier to understand and I think he simply lost his mind.
Click More for the next page.
