Re: What the hell am I’m going to do?!?!?!?! yella: I agree with everyone else here, tweety.
Your head is telling you that it's a bad idea, because it is! He's trying to come back into your life and use you for what he can. You can't let him!
Look at you now! You've taken the pictures down, and training for a marathon. You're getting somewhere!!! Don't let him take this away from you!
This is your life now. Own it!
Re: What the hell am I’m going to do?!?!?!?! twetifb: You're right...my gut is telling me no way but I can't get myself to say no to him. I never could say no to him and that's why it still amazes me that I got the courage to leave him. Ugh!!! I emailed him this morning and explained that I'm not 100% comfortable about him staying with me and that I'm having doubts. I also explained to him that while he's here we need to discuss when we're going to file for divorce because that's the only option for us. I'm kinda hoping that by saying that, he won't want to stay with me. We'll see.
Re: What the hell am I’m going to do?!?!?!?! yella: Honestly, by telling him that you're not 100% sure, you're leaving the door open for negotiation.
It should have been, "You're not staying with me", and left it at that, BUT, I do understand how you can't say no.
E-mail is a wonderful thing because we can say what we mean without the eye contact and physical intimidation. Use this tool as a way to get strong. If he replies, and he will, simply tell him that after more thought, he can't stay with you. End of story.
The good thing is that he lives out of town, so after this weekend, you can get back to your life.
Re: What the hell am I’m going to do?!?!?!?! twetifb: my stbx emailed me telling me that he's not getting his hopes up for a sexual encounter next weekend since i wouldn't even kiss him last week. then he proceed to call me prude. my response:
I just don't want to confuse anything between us more than it already is. Mike, we live in different states. Our lives are drifting apart. I know our hearts haven't moved on but won't it be like starting this whole nightmare over again if we connect and then pull apart again? Is it closure you're seeking...one last night? I love you and I like that we can enjoy a nice meal together and have a good conversation. I want us to be friends like we've been for the past couple months. I don't want us to sleep together, have expectations, and break our hearts all over again when it doesn't work out...because it won't. It was very hard for me not to give into you last weekend. I have always been attracted to you and that hasn't gone away. I was fighting a battle with myself all night and I did what I know was the right thing for me. I'm working on putting my needs first, before anyone else, which is something you can admit I've never done.
Re: What the hell am I’m going to do?!?!?!?! snkpack5: Tweety,
I'm proud of you. I know its tough to stand up to someone you were always accommodating for before, but you have to do it or he will walk on you your entire life. My ex was a complete control freak. The first few years after the divorce I was overly accomodating to him because I felt bad for him, but now I do what's right for me and the kids. Because he needs to have a firm answer no wishy-washiness.
Good job. keep it up!
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