No Contact Dont-want-one: No contact is widely accepted on this board as the way to go, but what do you do when you want someone to still be in your life?
My wife still wants to be friends. I really want to continue to see her because I still love her so much. The real concern I have is that when she starts to see other people or get married again, that it will push me right over the edge. I really have mixed feelings about the no contact rule. On one hand, if she really cared about me and wanted me in her life, knowing that I will not be her friend and she still refuses to stay married to me, what does that say? Does anyone here still have the ex in their life as a friend and how do you deal with it?
Re: No Contact flowersdirtandgardengirl: <covers her mouth, tapes her hands to her chair and waits for someone else to post because apparently she's on a rainy day roll today>
Re: No Contact seabreezy1010: My ex wants the same thing. i too am torn, because I want him in my life, but I cannot stand talking to him right now, and when he brings up the O/W it makes me crazy. Maybe no contact is the way to go for awhile, and then see if that friendship can sustain. I plan on being able to see him in relationships and not be affected, someday, but I cannot right now.
Re: No Contact dumpling: my ex wanted to be friends- i told him that he didn't want to be my friend while married, it would not benefit ME to be his friend now.
i love him to death, i want him back, i think about him ALL THE TIME- and no contact is the best thing i ever did for myself.
if it is not healthy for you now, don't do it. being friends right now is not likely to lead to reconciliation. sorry. wait until you are healed to be her friend, and then you might not even be interested.
Re: No Contact jadedangel: [color=navy"> Yup ... I am one of 'them' too .... ones that actually wants my ex to be somewhat in my life. I cannot accept that this person who altered my life --- altered me is just going to disappear .... and it f*&K$ me over every time. I keep thinking I have a lesson to learn --- but maybe it's partially acceptance. I don't tolerate finding out how great life is without me .... and I don't tolerate seeing how happy he is now he has replaced me ... but -- I still can't give up that last bit of contact ...
Only advice I ever really got about it was ---- do NC for a while. Until you can handle your emotions. Until you are able to tolerate the changes that will take place. Accept that it will have to be nothing right now ... so that there is any future in it. I guess that is all I can really say. If you truly want them as a friend .... you need to get over them. [/color">
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