Re: No Contact flowersdirtandgardengirl: Okay, you all are sorry it's rainy here because it means I'm stuck inside. Anyway, dont-want-one:
[quote author=Dont-want-one link=topic=23603.msg219735#msg219735 date=1136498389"> My wife still wants to be friends. I really want to continue to see her because I still love her so much. [/quote">
This leads me to believe that the reason you want to be friends with her is not because you want to be friends with her, but because you still love her enough to want her in your life, whatever the terms. This is one part admirable and nine parts excrutiating.
[quote author=Dont-want-one link=topic=23603.msg219735#msg219735 date=1136498389"> The real concern I have is that when she starts to see other people or get married again, that it will push me right over the edge. [/quote">
See above.
[quote author=Dont-want-one link=topic=23603.msg219735#msg219735 date=1136498389"> On one hand, if she really cared about me and wanted me in her life, knowing that I will not be her friend and she still refuses to stay married to me, what does that say?[/quote">
It says that right now she has her own priorities and her own agenda and she is willing to give up your friendship and your relationship for those things.
God I know this one. I know this one so well. Please believe me. My ex was my best friend before we were lovers. God, he was my favorite person in the world, since day one. We traveled to Thailand together, we had classes together, we partied together and saw each other through sad and silly heart breaks. We had soooo many people in common. When we broke up I had to break up from ALL of that and it broke my heart more than I can tell you. I lost him and for the time being I lost all of those people and all of those friends. Because I knew I just couldn't be strong enough to be around him or hear about him or see him with other women.
No contact is the thing that works for so many people because it gives them the power back to restore themselves. Contact only works when you no longer care and that person no longer breaks your heart just by breathing. Everyone is different. Everyone deals with things in their own way. I suggest trying it out. In the greater scheme of things a few months of no contact is a short period of time. If we are meant to be friends with our exes as exes then there is all the time in the world for that, later.
Good luck,
gg
Re: No Contact snkpack5: It is my firm belief that exes pull the "friend" card to assuage their guilt. I think they figure that if you are still willing to be friendly, then they must not be such a bad person after all. NC is the way to go.
