How do I change...? cc: So many people have told me that I put everyone elses needs ahead of my own, and that it was bad...but...isn't that good? If I took care of my needs first, what if I'm not in time to help my loved ones? How could I be so selfish? The world is already greedy enough as it is...
But I wonder...if that's what ruins my relationships...if so...how on Earth am I suppose to change that, without feeling self-absorbed...???
Re: How do I change...? JNA: CC wrote: "So many people have told me that I put everyone elses needs ahead of my own, and that it was bad...but...isn't that good?"
Yes it is a good quality to have but the thing is that some people exploit this...
I found this out first hand
We are kind...Caring and Sincere and people "Use" that sometimes
CC wrote: "But I wonder...if that's what ruins my relationships...if so...how on Earth am I suppose to change that, without feeling self-absorbed..."
You cannot get rid of it totally...
You don't want to one and two is it wouldn't be you
So you find a balance...That happy medium
You can be kind and caring but still set bounderies so that you know when to draw the line...
As far as the rest
When someone exploits our good qualities for there gain it is not a reflection on us...
It is a reflection on them and there bad qualities
IMO
JNA
BTW...
You are never Self Absorbed by protecting yourself
We didn't make it that way...People like the ones we met did
Re: How do I change...? snkpack5: cc,
You have to change your frame of mind. I find myself doing this a lot --- feeling guilty when I do things for myself because I feel maybe I should have been helping someone else out. Its not something you can just snap your fingers and change especially if you've been this way your whole life. But start treating yourself like that significant other you sacrificed everything for. When you stop feeling guilt over doing something nice for yourself you'll be a better, happier person. I am learning this the hard way.
Re: How do I change...? cc: Thank you jna, snkpack5, and lifesgood...I guess I have to admit I'm guilty of that...with friends I always seem to take on a Motherly-role, I feel responsible for their safety and happiness, same for significent others......only time can hope I'll change some...
