Are you their second choice if they come back? lapse of reason: If you were left for another person and that relationship does/did not work out and they return to you, are you a second choice? Are you their fallback person? Are you their cushion?
After six months of back and forth, my ex wants to come back. Says it never worked with OW because he never lost his feelings for me. It never worked because it was not meant to be. So if things had worked out, would I have ever heard from him again? Am I just his comfort? What do you all think?
Re: Are you their second choice if they come back? Tarheel: It was about seven months for me when the cheating ex "wanted" to come back, make it work, etc. We even talked about trying to have another baby...
...and that talk lasted about five days before she went right back to him because she "didn't trust me." (Insert your own joke here.) I told her that was it, and it was. When she came back three months later, I gave her a room for a week before she flew back home to PA.
Who knows, maybe you're the backup plan, maybe you're not. But that's just MY experience in the matter.
Re: Are you their second choice if they come back? WhiskeyGirl: Its hard to say...I imagine for some, yes, they do come back simply because the "better" plan never panned out, but not always. Its possible your ex is telling the truth, its possible he's not. Is he worth that chance? Are you over your feelings for him? Can you forgive him in any case? You know your ex better than anyone I'll bet...does he seem sincere?
I believe in second chances, I believe that its very possible that this mistake he made actually made him realize how much he loves you and just what you mean to him. I certainly can't say it for fact because I don't know either of you...but if you want to give your marraige another shot and you trust that he is being sincere in his regret and he is truly sorry...then you should give him a chance. Its not easy but a marriage is always worth trying to save as long as there is some glimmer of hope.
[quote author=lapse of reason link=topic=24000.msg224359#msg224359 date=1137120204">
So if things had worked out, would I have ever heard from him again? [/quote">
If things had worked out, that would mean that he did get over his feelings for you and was able to move on, so no, you would not have heard from him. But thats not the case, he says he never got over you...you can chose to believe him or not...its entirely your decision.
Good luck :)
Re: Are you their second choice if they come back? Trying2Hope: If my ex ever comes back, even to SUGGEST that she wants to try again, it will be the happiest day of my life ...
Because if that ever happens, then I will laugh harder than I ever laughed before, moon her (public place or not), and request that she go enjoy sexual relations with herself (not in those words).
Of course, I'm not the trusting type. And I've had enough second chances to last me a very long time.
If I were you, whether you believe him or not, I'd tread very VERY carefully and let him know what's up.
Re: Are you their second choice if they come back? kev: I will tell you this...if my ex ever came back and said "i always knew, you were the one for me...." I would laugh at her and say yeah right...
I aint takin the goodwill route, i aint being the second hand....
all that tells me if things don't work out right with the f'er that she left me for, is that i am the fall back, and I aint going to do that.
I say that you don't let yourself be the "fallback". then all that says is that they wanted to go out there and have fun or whatever, and when it didn't work out, they want to come back to you since you were the strong one and gave them everything....
second choice? screw that, at one time i was first choice, ask me if i will give you a second chance.
BE STRONG!
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