Re: Ugh - I just destroyed this relationship jrk6551: Well, I wouldn't say you completely destroyed it, she may just need time to sort things out herself. Maybe drunkenly expressing your feelings wasn't the best move, and it's probably a lot for her to take in all at once, especially if she's starting to get serious with her new boyfriend, but still has some feelings for you. Like others have said, I'd just give her some time to think about things and in a month or so, maybe just send her a quick e-mail that says "hi, just wondering how you've been... etc.." or something to that effect and see where it goes from there.
Re: Ugh - I just destroyed this relationship BilgeD: Right, that makes sense. Its not to say the feelings we're reciprocated - she revealed to me during this conversation that she loved me as well. But not knowing how I felt about her, she moved on. And when I stupidly pushed her towards this ultimatum of being in my life or not, she became very torn - saying that it was hard to make such a decision because of how she loved me and how I felt like family to her.
What a terrible position - I cant believe I put her through that.
Still, I agree - time will probably be best. I'll try her again in about a month's time - see if there's room to discuss being friends again.
I can't believe how professing my love to her got me in this mess.
Re: Ugh - I just destroyed this relationship Jaimjaim: Don't feel bad, I sort of did the same thing. When my fiancee/bf (not sure what to call him since he proposed but I didn't have the ring on my finger yet, as we were still shopping for one) dumped me because he felt "confused" and "suffocated" and wanted time and space between us
( we had been arguing about everything for some reason lately) I was devastated. I tried to give him space by not seeing him but I just HAD to talk to him on the phone or IM him every day. Then two weeks later, after we seemed to be getting along much better and I thought maybe he'd come back, I confronted him about it. I needed to know if we were either going to get back together or not. I couldn't keep living like this. Every day wondering how long he needed this "break-time". I guess he felt backed into a corner because he decided to completely break it off with me and said that, " You never know. I can't tell you that in exactly one year and 3 days I'm gonna call you up and want to get back together, but you never know. Time will tell." Those were his exact words...which have been permanantly burned into my memory. We maintained contact for a while. But then about 2 weeks after the breakup he got another gf and stopped calling. He's hardly ever on the computer anymore. I ran into his mom and she said that she hardly hears from him anymore either. He's almost always "out". So I dunno if he will ever come back or not. I know that I made some mistakes....I probably did "suffocate" him as he put it. Now I know better. I wanted a chance to make things better but maybe only time can do that. I have not contacted him since Christmas, and as hard as it is, I will continue on this path. He knows my phone number, my address, my email,etc. so if he REALLY wants to get in touch with me he knows how.
You don't know if it will work out with this guy or not. Perhaps if not, she will give you a call. I hope it works out for you. I know how hard it is to have the love of your life right in front of you, but you can't bring yourself to say or do what it is that your heart wants you to say/do.
Re: Ugh - I just destroyed this relationship cmeinred: Let her be with this other person. The communication perhaps wasn't there while you were together and feelings weren't met and people drift away from one another. You did what you could do by telling how you felt. She responds "no". Please move on you are probably better off.
Re: Ugh - I just destroyed this relationship BilgeD: Thanks for all the responses.
I know the no contact approach is definitely for the best. However, she's having an operation later this week, and wondered if I should send her a quick "good luck/thinking of you" email beforehand. Nothing more than a sentence saying that - and then initiate the no contact.
Not sure which way to go on this.
