Thank You for RUINING My Day! Tarheel: For all you newbies out there who think it's all wine and roses once you get past, say, the first six months... hello, I'm Tarheel. To catch up with my story, click the link in my sig line. The rest of you, gather round...
I was at the campus library for a brief while this morning doing some Marketing work online, and as I'm typing away, the message sounder on my cell phone goes off. It's a text message... from my ex-wife. "Hey, whatcha doin?" (Okay, what's the point?) So silly me, nice me, naive me, I reply, telling her I'm at school doing work. She asks me if I've "heard about Coach Curry." Keep in mind, Curry is the HIGH SCHOOL football coach in her hometown, so why would I have "heard about him?" Apparently, he quit over drugs or something, and apparently, that's supposed to matter to me all the way down here in Alabama. So I go back to work, ignoring her last message. 10 minutes later, she sends me another one, as if we were having a relevant conversation, "Hey, ya still there?" I get done with my work and prepare to drive back to the office, and silly me, nice me, naive me, I reply to her again. Told her I was finishing my work , and that while I was looking for my Nike bookbag last night, I came across a bag of her bras, thongs, etc. in the closet and asked if she wanted them back. She says toss them out, but then asks this:
"How's your dating scene going?" And again, silly me, nice, me, naive me, I answer the question... honestly. "What dating scene?" But I made the cardinal mistake of asking her the same. I don't know if it was because I was truly interested or if I just wanted to ask a dumb question in return. Her answer surprised me, but it didn't surprise me. "I've been out a couple of times with someone, but iwasn't my intention to get back into the dating game." In all honesty, that didn't bother me. My instincts had told me weeks ago that she was seeing somebody, and that the couple of contraictions about "her friend Laura" were actually straight out lies. So I ask her, "Well, he's not a jerk, is he?" Maybe a bit sarcastic, but a fair question, considering her track record, and especially if I'm gonna let her our daughter this spring. And she says he's a greaty guy - then again, the OM was a "great guy," too - used to go to school with him, etc. I know I'm on thin ice now, but I figure what the hell, "Ya know, you had a great guy before and got rid of him. What's changed since then?" And she sends me this crap: "I need to grow up and settle down. Sorry I f***ed everything up, but I got a second chance and I can't pass it up."
Okay, first of all, I gave er a "second chance" back in May. She didn't want that, but that's not my problem here. I understand the whole concept about the cheater having their fun early but the the bottom drops out on them. That already happened, back in the summer. What I don't understand is how after everything she did to me, how does SHE get to be happy before I do? It's her damn turn to sit back and suffer like I did last year. As soon as I feel like I'm getting somewhere in this divorce, and begin to embrace my "singleness," she throws this crap on me. Had I been able to answer her dating question, "Me and so and so have been dating for six weeks," everything would've been fine. Instead, she calls me out on it for hatever reason (claims she was curious - perhaps to justify herself for seeing someone?), and makes me feel like total s*** in the process.
At this point, I told her I was only gonna get angry, and I'd talk to her later when she called to talk to little one. But she won't drop it, replying, "Why am I making you mad? I didn't mean to." I stewed on it for about a half hour, then decided since I was already up to my knees in it, I might as well keep digging, and told her exactly how I felt, that, as petty as it sounded, it was total bulls*** that she got to be happy while I'm nickel and diming my way thru school, work, AND being a father to our daughter, yet miserably single. And she has the gall to reply back: "You deserve to be happy. I understand how you feel."
THAT did it. I sent her a big one back in all caps that read, "No, you don't understand how I feel, so don't sit there and say you do. Your spouse didn't cheat on you, walk out on you, and leave you for dead. So don't say you understand when you obviously don't have the capacity to do so, given the fact that YOU are the spouse I just referred to. I said I was gonna get mad, and thanks to you, I am now." Didn't hear a peep from her after that, but that didn't stop me from sulking the rest of the day at work. I havent felt this pathetic in nine months. And I know, I brought this on myself for being dumb enough to reply back to her the first time.
Questions, comments, criticism? I just need input here...
Re: Thank You for RUINING My Day! alonewith2: [size=20pt"> BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!