Sadness PickingUpThePieces: Well, today I saw the stbx for the first time in 3 months. I went over to the old house, that he lives in....saw my ex-dog, and all of my old things. I went to pick up the remainder of my personal things and arrange a time for him to bring me my couch. Now all I feel is an overwhelming sense of sadness. :'( We talked business, and then chit-chatted like old friends...which I guess is what we are in a sense. I had always thought, during the times I was angry at him for the lying, cheating, etc., that if I saw him seeming sad or pathetic that it would give me my pound of flesh, so to speak. But it didn't. All it did was make me sad, for that person that he once was, the times when we were so comfortable together and the times when we were really in love. It made me sad for all of the lost dreams...children, spending many many years together, the plans we had for the house, the plans we had for a few years down the road to sell the house and get a larger one for the "family"...
The thing is, that it's hard to talk to friends/family about this type of feeling. Most of the time when we talk about the divorce or the stbx I either hear stbx-bashing or about how life will be better for me. I know all of those things and know that I should focus on the future and myself, etc. Sometimes though, I just need to grieve. I guess we all need that.
Re: Sadness smokin: i never see my ex. mostly due to the PO she has on me.
i wish i knew shes suffering. she looks so sad when i pass her car. lol.....
maybe my heart is gone. i want to know shes suffering, so i can laugh at the ho.......
your better than me, pup. you have a heart....
Re: Sadness jadedangel: [quote author=PickingUpThePieces link=topic=24091.msg225045#msg225045 date=1137274404">
All it did was make me sad, for that person that he once was, the times when we were so comfortable together and the times when we were really in love. It made me sad for all of the lost dreams...children, spending many many years together, the plans we had for the house, the plans we had for a few years down the road to sell the house and get a larger one for the "family"...
[/quote">
[color=navy"> Go ahead and grieve ... if you don't -- you will never move on. Sadness --- it's a huge part of what has held me back. I have had an overwhelming sense of it lately. All I can see are the things I lost --- because really I didn't gain anything. The children ... a huge component for me .. as I was really ready for them. The plans ... another piece that I can't seem to comprehend what to do with. I am supposed to graduate and know what to do by October and I am avoiding it so bad .... I can't make a plan .. because I don't have him to make it with. I can relate ... and I hate it --- I hate the crying ... and I hate the sadness ... and I hate that it was okay with him to do that to me.
I think though that if you don't grieve ... as you are --- you get stuck at it. There is no way you can move on when your stuck ... seems so obvious ... so take your time and realize it's gone .... just try to think of when and how your going to get that back. Yeah ... just thwap me .... I know you want to.[/color">
Re: Sadness poppy: pickingupthepieces,
i hear ya! i think i would be more crushed to see my puppies than to see him. when i hear a dog bark outside, i often think it is one of my girls. i can't imagine how hard that had to be after 3 months.
it is ok to be sad for all of your dashed dreams. and the loss of the person who was your husband.
i try not to be a downer and burden my family with this, and i get the same treatment from family and friends about tis. that's why it is great to post here to have the support of others who are going through the same thing.
Re: Sadness JNA: When I talked to my ex all it ever did was bring more hurt and pain...Mor broken promises or broken plans...
Whenever something hurts more than pleasures you then you know it just isn't right
For me it told me what I needed too know...
I think you will find this too but it doesn't mean it won't hurt for a time Know that others have been there and feel the pain too
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger pup...
Stay Strong
JNA
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