Re: NEED ADVISE NOW!!!! superwife: In spite of all my ex has done to hurt me, I have to wonder the same things (that whiskey and charmed mentioned). My daughter spends a lot of time with my ex's girlfriend (AKA the OW). I'm not saying it doesn't hurt me, but unless I had a valid reason (like she's a crackhead or child molester), which I don't, I would ease up on it a bit. I don't think it's as confusing as we all assume it is (my daughter is almost 6). She doesn't seem to mind it. I have a signicfifcant other as well, (she doesn't see him as much as she sees the OW). Just think about why you don't want them with her. I'm picking my battles, and this one is not worth it right now. If it were, I'd be fighting it.
Re: NEED ADVISE NOW!!!! BarbJo: I do understand all of that. Here is some history....There is a PFA order against my ex (protection from abuse) for emotional and financial. He is not suppose to have any weapons. Last week I noticed that there are 3 shot guns missing from the home. This man made the commet to me "my blood will be on your hands". He has violated the PFA on serveral accations. He was ordered by the court to pay all untilites and bills for the home. We are past due on the mortgage by 2months and our trash delivery was cancelled for non-payment (I have 2 weeks of trash in front of my home). He still does not have any place to take the kids. Keep in mind that this man is still renting a vacation home. I found out last week he didn't pay payroll taxes for his company for 2 years. He has not filed personal income taxes for 2 years. He will not turn over any financial information regarding the company for child support. I know NOTHING about the girlfriend. He won't tell me a thing.
Re: NEED ADVISE NOW!!!! alonewith2: If he has a PFA, why do they trust him around the kids?
Re: NEED ADVISE NOW!!!! charmed: I wonder the same thing
Re: NEED ADVISE NOW!!!! bbygrl: I have to say my stbxh has a girlfriend that so far has seen my son approx 5 times. I personally hate it. But....where my son is concerned I promote the friendship. The first 3x she saw my son, he was very unhappy. He does not like his dad being with another woman, and everything is changing so fast for him. I could also see that he was concerned about me and my feelings. So I sat down and told him that as long as any of his dads friends are nice to him, it would be fine with me if he wanted to be friends with them. It took so much pressure off of him, now he is having a friendship with the other woman ( I don't really like it, but I am being the better person, and I know my acceptance of her to him makes all the difference in his happiness). The truth about me not liking her is my own fears anyways, I don't even know her, and even though my personal belief that all the attention she is giving my son is to win over his dad, my son is much happier. And yes, this is a woman that had an affair with a married man, and is partly responsible for the demise of my marriage. As well, she has tried to prove me wrong and did hours of research on a violent video game that I don't allow my son to play at his age. And she buys him things like vitamins that I feel is crossing a line. But no matter what, I am a better person then her and my ex and I will conduct myself at a higher level, and I will do whatever I have to to make my sons life easier. I am sorry to say this, but if you were less fearful about the woman and being positive, happy and supportive, it is less likely the children would be confused. Kids like everybody thats nice, and they have no idea of the circumstances. I realize it takes alot to suck it up....but where the babies are concerned it is so worth it!!
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