Re: Divorce is worse than death... reck: [quote author=LittleMinnow link=topic=24514.msg230279#msg230279 date=1138073829">
In many ways, divorce has been harder on me than my fiance dying. Hear me out....
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I always thought that from day one a year ago and its good to see someone who confirms that who has been through both .....you have truly experienced all permutations of hell, my sympathies.
I have always believed I would have dealt better with my exs death …knowing she still loved me, and only having good memories and feelings to live with……instead I have only betrayal, lies and the self doubt of my own judgement that I didn’t see what she was really like after sharing our lives together for over a quarter of a century…..and haunted by her ghost possessed by this new "stranger" because of our kids.
But having said that I still feel like im a "widower"….i still love the memory of who I thought she was and what ever I do I cant connect that person with the "new" .......i miss her
Re: Divorce is worse than death... Carl Spackler: Agree 100%. With divorce, spouses, at least the cheating ones, leave out of choice. A death of a spouse due to illness or accident is not by choice.
Re: Divorce is worse than death... jojo: thank you for writing that i have felt quite guilty about this subject...
My friend died in oct last year aged 23 she left her partner and two children under 5..When we were in the church everyone was saying how is he gonna cope etc etc and i though 'hows he gonna cope, he doesnt have to think of her with someone else he knew she loved him and he never has to see her again......' I sat there feeling soooo bad for thinking this and just wanting my stbxh to hold my hand' Then I thought he just wants her to hold his hand and she never will again and felt even worse...
Why dont people see that divorce is a death its a living death for a long time...
I'm still very emotional about this and I'm glad someone who has been through both as the guts to say what it is like...
Thank you for helping me feel that I am not a bad person.
I too am sorry for both your loses deathwise and divorcewise.
with love
jojo x
Re: Divorce is worse than death... reck: Just as an after thought....i wouldnt myself articulate these thoughts anywhere except here or to someone with a like situation....they would never understand not having gone through it.
Re: Divorce is worse than death... Peaceandquiet: That was one of the first things I was told when I found out my ex wanted to leave me. "Divorce is worse than death because you don't have to see them living their lives happy without you." Don't remember who told me just remember hearing it.
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