Re: Pause for consideration? jadedangel: [color=navy"> I agree that you should go to counseling and attempt to work it out. I agree that you should talk about the options there. I agree that you should work on your marriage ... But like PQ said ... if she won't work on it at home .. being out of town will never remedy your relationship.
But ... I think she is playing you for Vegas and the Cruise .... and it sounds like .. she has no intention of making it a 'couple's weekend' to attempt to fix your marriage ..... I know I already have said too much ... but truly look to her intentions ... I think you will know then what to do.[/color">
Re: Pause for consideration? Sooty:
Understood. Just hate second-guessing all of her actions.
Thanks JA, PQ.
Re: Pause for consideration? bluskygrl: Sooty, I am very sorry that this is happening, but I have to say that I think you are being way to kind. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice... well you know. I also completely agree with Peace on the documentation, BTW.
I don't know the whole story, but I have at least 10 married and single friends who would be overjoyed at the thought of a husband/bf who is thoughful enough to take them on cruises and to Vegas - for INXS!!!!
I say that if you go on either vacation that you leave her behind and enjoy your time- although I know that may be hard right now. Take a deserving friend, sister, your mom someone who is supportive and isn't playing you.
Maya Angelou once said that "when someone shows you who they really are - believe them - the first time!" talking yourself into something different will only prolong the pain.
I too was told to wait it out and see if he will come around - well it was 3 years in November and he never did. So I am moving on as painful as it is to see someone not even try to work on something so improtant to you.
She has had her second and third chance. You deserve something/someone much much better, really you do, and you are the person has to beleive that first.
Re: Pause for consideration? Sooty: [quote author=bluskygrl link=topic=24530.msg230466#msg230466 date=1138121056">
So I am moving on as painful as it is to see someone not even try to work on something so improtant to you.
[/quote">
It's a slow process, but I'm seeing that. I honestly wouldn't feel right if I didn't give our marriage the respect it deserves, but I see that she isn't considering it. She tells me she is unhappy, and I'm doing all the work by scheduling therapy, trying to talk, etc. Last week I stopped cooking for her she ate 'fries' last night for dinner, I haven't done the laundry so I think she is running out of clothes.
Re: Pause for consideration? ajw: i think if you turn round and tell her you want a divorce,she will shit a brick.She does'nt know what she wants at the moment and she's playing you for an idiot.For your own sanity i'd get this woman out of your house and let her fend for herself for a while......let her see how good she's had it with you and that she is totally taking you for granted.
You have to start taking care of you now...cause she's sure not going to......no vegas,no cruise........unless u want to buy her a ticket for vegas and change the locks while she's gone....lol
be strong
Andy
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