Same vent...different day... PiscesGoddess: I've been wrestling all day with posting something..Things are downhill once again with the crazy hubby of mine..My story probably isnt that well known out here since I tend to post more in premium..but..he and I have had trouble for awhile ::) He is..an emotionally abusive alcoholic...I am a co-dependant nicompoop. :P
We were on a trial run after our last bout..we gave it until our sons birthday (Feb19) and then we would go from there. I started to visit the domestic violence shelter..because I felt so.. crazy ??? Well.. he went into the honeymoon faze as emotional abusers will do and I followed right behind. (Ya'll see that stupid sign on my forehead?) Lately Ive been growing increasingly angry at him..things that used to not bother me..bother the hell out me..the way he talks to me..the way he treats the kids..the way he is never around..the way he hates my daughter that went to live with her grandmother..how selfish he is..that I have grown distant.I admit it. And Ive tried talking to him to no avail.
Well we have a fight the other night where I break..I tell him that I feel so disconnected etc..and suggest things that might help us..and mention my b-day coming up and how special I want it to be..He's toasted and he agrees.
Cut to yesterday.. (oh did I mention he started doing drugs again? Once he thought we were out of the divorce woods ???) I cracked..I mean C R A C K E D..I was depressed..nothing was changing..he was still mean..he pushed my daughter..and then we found out our tax refund and he started making plans for it. I blew..I said I cant take it anymore..something has to give..I told him that I knew if it wasnt for Sam I wouldnt even be in his life...(something HE had sent in an email to someone) that all I wanted was for him to be nice..He said that I made a big F-ing deal about my birthday..that I DEMANDED he do something special..That he would never change..
So today..we are on the divorce ledge once again..he even said his ex wife was better than me.. mmhmm... I hear the gasps..I did that too.. Of course I said well let me just call her and you can have her back! >:( well he is screwing wiht my head..he says one thing then says he didnt say it..says I said things that I never said..wont take any responsibility for ANYTHING..so WHY AM I STILL HERE? WHY? okay the obvious is I have no job no friends no place to go...I dont know how to keep going about this..I am so depressed I can barely move. I did call the domestic shelter and they are full.
okay ..whew..that was close..anyway..I do not know how to move from this place I am in...I was going through old posts ..and Jesus in heaven I have been at this crossroads so many times before you would think I would figure out the right path...
any insight?? Other than the marriage counseling..tried didnt work..Me staying with friends.. dont have any in the vicinity..
am I just f*cked and depressed??? :'(
Pisces
Re: Same vent...different day... smokin: get out. come to maine. ill help ya. can you say greyhound?
lol...
you gotta get rid of this manoor(sp) poop pile that is dragging you down. pick a f*cking tv up, and smash it through his thick skull.....
you are great. you deserve more. figure out a plan. put a PO on him, and leave his sorry azz, put him in jail if needed......
we have to help make you make you better.. were here for yA. ;)
Re: Same vent...different day... IlliniGirl: Pisces~
Oh, my Goddess........I am SO sorry that you are going through this. You don't deserve this......not at all. You are SUCH a wonderful woman, and you know I love you!!! You can come to MA with me!!!
Seriously honey, you need to get out of that situation. I didn't realize that things had gotten to be this way.
You have my number, or you should. If you don't pm me and let me know and I will give it to you again. You need to remove yourself from this situation. If you need to talk or vent, honey, please call me. I am always here for you. Just as you've always been for me.
Hugs~
~Angel
Re: Same vent...different day... Trillian: I ammmmm sooooooooo sorry that you are having to go through this. I love you as a sister. You are such a great person and I hate to see crap like this happen to you!
You totally need to get out of this relationship! It is doing nothing BUT posioning you.
HUGS!!!
D...
Re: Same vent...different day... Irony: Hey PG..
it's the iron man talking..
having spent 25 years with an on again off again alcoholic, what you're going through will not change until he gets sober and clean (if that ever happens)
I was fortunate that my late wife had 5 year bouts of sobriety.
Do whatever you need to do to protect yourslef and your child.
There are other public programs besides the shelter..
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