here i go again vjsauce: well here i am again. i was on here back in november. it seems sooo long ago. nothing has changed. we've had some pretty bad things happen again. my fault for something as usual. the thing is that i want to leave. i think he wants me to leave to but he's scared to be the one to say it. we talk about it. i'm fine now knowing that i leave w/nothing. that i leave everything again and have to start over. he asks me why i want to leave. i was willing to try to get past the cheating w/ my so called best friend. it hurt me but hey put a piece of free ass in front of a dog they won't pass it up(sorry if it sounds harsh) . but then in last month again things got bad. i went home for a couple of days and he called "her" up again. asked her to move here w/him. told me that it was to help him pay bills then told her it was cuz he missed her. who knows both of them lie. well then i heard from her that he told her that the only reason i came back was for the kids. that i knew that and i was ok with it. WHAT!!! NO! he told me different. so since this i just feel like he back stabbed. he betrayed me in another way. there is nothing he wouldn't do to me. he talked about me behind my back. he says that as long as me and him know the truth then it doesn't matter what he told other people. but it matters to me. knowing that he told everyone else that he is only with me for the kids. everyday i just feel like this is a job that is going no where. he keeps asking me why do i want to leave. we are just wasting each others time. staying in a realtionship that will go no where. i have been thru a lot with this man but it's just not worth it. he doesn't want me to work, go to school, read books at home, be on the internet. the thing is he tells me to leave then he tells no. so should i just leave one morning without telling him. i am not happy. i have been with this man for so long. he doesn't love me so why would he want me to stay? sorry this is so long.thank you all for letting me vent.
Re: here i go again jojo: pack your bag and run for the hills dont pass go and don't collect two hundred pounds.......get out get out get out you deserve more he's a lowlife lying pondscum....... take control back and leave his sorry arse.
harsh? maybe......... real? definately
big hugs
take care
jojo x
Re: here i go again vjsauce: thing are still the same. but just last night he said you aren't going anywhere. you're gonna stay. why? we have no relationship. we sleep in different rooms. he tells me he doesn't love me but he thinks he will fall in love with me later. his biggest fear is the kids. he says what if i leave and he realizes later that he still wants me. i told him it doesn't matter anymore. he asks me if i love him. in his mind if i love him then it doesn't matter if he doesn't. ??? i have been working myself telling myself that i have to leave. should i just leave when he is at work? i don't know what i am supposed to do. when we are apart i miss him so much but when we are together i am so much worst. i have no life, no friends. he comes and goes as he pleases. he has his poker nights here at home and i play the good hostess. but what about me. he tells me i'm ok. i don't need to do things like that. it took me a lot of years, therapists , and meds to realize that he is very good manipulator. very emotionally abusing. why does he tell me to stay?
Re: here i go again PiscesGoddess: vj~ You've read my thread so you know I have a bit of the same situation. I know I am not one to preach on what to do or not..because Im kind of stuck in the middle also. but if you have the recources? Go! If it is doable in anyway shape or form..go..
I know you still love him..I kept asking myself yesterday how in the hell can I want to be with a man that treats me like this? And I really couldnt answer it..I guess its the romantic in me that thinks it will "change" but it doesnt.. Oh maybe for a day or two but thats it .
He still wants you around so he can continue to control you..bottom line..if you leave he loses that.
Please read the threads on emotional abuse and some of jna's posts on "crazymaking"...I bet you can relate just as I did.
hang in there honey..I understand how much strength this takes!
Pisces
