Tell her I'm separated before, after or during first date? cmuelle1: I've been separated for over six months, waiting to finalize a divorce due to NY state law. My ex and I are on relatively good terms, we have agreed on the terms for an uncontested divorce, but we're not in contact at all. We're just waiting it out at this point. I'm definitely ready to move on and have just started dating. I'm 33, most women I've met are my age or younger. So far I've told them as soon as possible about my situation and I think it freaks them out. I worry that bringing it up right away makes it seem like an ongoing issue and I'm still dealing with it. I don't want it to be a surprise or an issue down the road- but is this something that I should wait to bring up until after a date or two? I'd really like to hear how other people have dealt with this. I'd like to think that the right person would understand, but so far it seems like a major liability in meeting someone new. Or should I just wait until my divorce is final to date anyone? That could be a year. Any advice would be appreciated...
Re: Tell her I'm separated before, after or during first date? jetguy: Well the easy answer would be to wait and then you wouldn't be worrying about having to tell your date that you are still legally married.
Your situation will continue to raise red flags with any women unless they are going through the same situation. In which case you will relate better. But look at this from the women's side. I'm on a date with a man that appears to be single but is still technically married. So this relationship carries an underlying risk factor. Most people don't like intentional risk.
Just my .02
JR
Re: Tell her I'm separated before, after or during first date? Horseface: I have been seperated 7 months and I have no expectations of being able to find anyone until the divorce is finalized.
There are women out there that understand but they seem to be giving me the high road...Thats ok. I understand.
I have met couples that have said they got together after he was 3 months seperated...etc but so far, that has not been my luck. I do tell people right away - its the honorable thing to do.
Re: Tell her I'm separated before, after or during first date? whatnext: Well, I'm dating a woman who has never been married, and I'm in a similar situation.
The best time, is right before you put on the condom.
Ok, the best time is either A. Whenever she asks, or B. Sometime during the first date. You could douse the flames of rejection by asking her a little bit about her dating history, and then drop your bomb (AFTER she's thought about all the losers she dated).
Re: Tell her I'm separated before, after or during first date? dgiirl: I think divorced guys have a lot more trouble with this issue than girls. So far, when I brang it up, not many guys have cared. Mind you, i think they just want to get laid lol
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