A wee update... dj: for the three or four people I still know here...lol.
So, I got "the call" yesterday afternoon from the ex-wife. She's engaged. I have to say, I was much less hurt than I thought I would be. To be sure, it hurt a bit, but I can see just how far I've grown, no small thanks to ojar and all of my fellow ojarians. I was fully expecting this call eventually, even though she said over and over again that she would never get married again (yeah, shocking right? Another lie.), and I fully expected to have a very hard time hearing it. Nope.
She did get a bit weird on me when first she told me she was "sad" about the engagement, umm...ok, and THEN she started telling me all she wants is for me to be happy (which I assured her I AM) and that she knows I'll meet someone great and be a great husband. As soon as she said this, I ended the conversation...telling her that it isn't something that I want to discuss with her. All I can say is BLECH!
And so, I just want to pass on my many, MANY thanks to ojar, all my ojar friends for helping me and to Michael, for creating this site.
You CAN all get through this...
DJ
Re: A wee update... yella: DEEJ!!!
My Buddy!!!
We talked a tiny bit about this last night... (and yes, I can really multi-task, right PQ?)... and I know that the call wasn't the easiest thing for you to go through, but you know what? You're such a strong person!
Look at all you've gone through! Look at the changes you've made, and the kids you're raising, and the awesome dogs you have!
This might sound a bit strange, but you've come so far with your ex. You know what I mean here. She's able to move on with her life, and you can move on with yours.
Her talking about you finding happiness is her way of feeling better about moving on with her life. She knows what she did wrong in her marriage to you, and what you did wrong, so this is her attempt (even if it's not ideal), at making peace with the news she just broke to you.
It's good that you ended the conversation, but just try to understand that I don't think she meant it to hurt you. Telling your ex that you're going to get remarried isn't always easy, especially if you're the one who left, so she probably felt just as weird as you did.
Plus a second engagement like that can bring up some sadness. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Emotions will run high, but I think you handled it beautifully.
I know you understand this because you are such a great guy!
An e-mail is on the way, Bud!!
