still don't understand tgjr7: wow! 2005 was the hardest year of my life. i have been through some really rough sh-t in my time, but how my ex made me feel, just seems to take the cake. i read other stories and talk with others who've gone through divorces and i feel like such a jerk. i mean, i really had it very easy compared to many, and yet i still went through it like a weak crybaby. it's been a little over a year now, since i was in a marriage. i don't understand why i still think about it. my life is actually very good compared to most - i make a great wage, i am young and very attractive, very healthy, talented, constantly moving and seeing the country. i have so much going for me, so why do i still feel sad? why do i miss a woman who betrayed me? i have disposed of all things that ever contacted her(pics, letters, cards, etc.) and yet i can't get her out of my thoughts, my brain, my dreams!! i have tried dating a few times only to feel as though i am somehow being unfaithful, though the marriage has been divorced for a year. i just think i feel like i made this promise and commitment for the rest of my life and i can't get away from it. i know, i know, SHE broke the vows, SHE wanted the divorce, SHE was unfaithful... etc. and therefore the marriage and commitment disolved, the contract broken by HER and not me, therefore i should be free... of regret, commitment, of her... and still, i know this, just can't compute. i really hate this. i am doing so many exciting things with my life and i can't feel the joy i should be. i have reverted to my gypsy ways, moving all the time(i mean total cross country). i am going to cali now from jersey. in the past 6 months i went from vegas to jersey and now going back west to california. i never lived there before and i love new places so what the heck. i am on major move #15-20 already in my adult life. need to stop now. i feel i can't seem to stop because i am trying to find something which i don't know what it is. hell, i am rambling. i don't know if i make sense to anyone. i'll sum up... i am a guy who has a lot going for him, i see this but don't seem to acknowledge it. i was broken by a woman and i want soooooooo badly to forget her. i want to stop watching my life from afar and join in. i want to stop running from/for something that shouldn't matter. i want my brain to stop thinking just so i can sleep for one night. i want to be able to open up to people. i miss my family and friends i now avoid b/c i am ashamed to waste their time with my pathetic "issues." i want to be me again. i don't want to love a memory of a woman who does not exist. i want my passion back. i want to stop rambling..
Re: still don't understand JNA: Quote:
why do i miss a woman who betrayed me? i want my brain to stop thinking just so i can sleep for one night. i don't want to love a memory of a woman who does not exist.
Maddening isn't it...
They leave a lasting impression that is for sure
For me everytime she would come into my mind I would try to remember the bad things she did to me...
My ex was "Heartless" there is no other way to put it...
Another thing that helped was working on things of interest, hanging out with other woman and chatting on message boards here and there...
It helped reading how other people had been treated with there ex's...
Getting her out of my head was the hardest thing I ever did mostly I think because if the way it ended
Today she doesn't enter my mind at all and if she calls trying to dump her guilt and I won't give her the time of day...
I think in time she will leave your thoughts but it does take a time
Hang in there...
JNA
