can i hear from the DUMPERS painfulopportunity: Guys,
Many posts that I read are from the dumpees. Us sore & sorry ones looking for solace. To all of us it appears that our partners are walking out out of a significant relationship effortlessly & with little pain. I would like to hear from some of the dumpers - particularly those that have felt " i loved him / her but was not in love" when they left. What emotions do you guys feel. Is there any of you that realised that the pain you felt was an issue within yourself as opposed to a relationship issue???
Have any of you turned around and gone back??
Would love to hear from the other side - or any of you that have been dumped for this reason and somehow reconcilled at a later stage.
Thanks
Re: can i hear from the DUMPERS JNA: I left and did not want to talk to her on any level...
She cheated...Told lies about me...Played the push/pull and a myriad of other things that I will not even get into
After a while enough is enough and I think when I was with her she hurt me in everyway a man could possibly be hurt but had not the slightest conscience about it and still does not...
Unless you count the fake tears and feeble attempts to convince me she never meant to do all those things
I don't think she ever told me the truth...She told me what I wanted to hear...
JNA
After a person does "so" much to you it will kill any kind of love you once felt for them
Quote: Well guys don't dump me...
Well guess what...
Re: can i hear from the DUMPERS Frazzled Nomad: hello
well i can only give you my version. and it has been anything but effortless and has involved more pain than i believed existed outside of a government sanctioned torture style scenario. and it wasn't even an 'ugly' breakup where we hated each other or whatever.
basically i had doubts and problems that only seemed to get worse as the relationship went on, then we separated, then i met someone else, scrapped that, tried to get back together but because of my doubts just could not do it and ended up calling it quits. i didn't want to hurt anyone but i figured staying in a relationship i wasn't 100% committed to wasn't doing anyone any favours.
since then i have learned in rapid succession:
1. you can run but not hide from the pain - if you leave for someone else you will still be carrying the breakup pain which will get you in the end.
2. it's a lot easier to be happy with a relationship when you are happy with yourself, and a lot easier to blame problems on a relationship rather than yourself.
3. if there are problems in a relationship, try and fix them. do not DO NOT DO. NOT. run into someone else's arms unless you want to put more people in the pain machine and make everything basically unfixable.
basically as soon as i finally said 'it's over' i wanted her back. and have done with greater or lesser degrees of desperation every single day since then (about three months ago). but then i figure, i have put this girl through so much i really don't deserve her back any more. plus what if we do get back together how the hell will it work when issues resurface. plus my own life is far from on track. and most importantly she is like 'no way' which i can certainly understand.
anyway that's just me. i think people can stay in bad or really lopsided relationships for too long and maybe they will be happy to move on. but anyone who has genuine feelings will hurt. and tear me a new whatever, but i also think leaving when you know it isn't working is maybe harder than being dumped. because at least dumped you get the pity party and the moral high ground. leaving you get the guilt and remorse and same levels of pain but no pity. ah who am i kidding - EXECUTIVE SUMMARY: it all sucks.
Re: can i hear from the DUMPERS BabygirlM: frazled- i gotta say i agree with you there....IT ALL SUCKS
