He's moved on;I'm left in a million little pieces sosad05: Hello-Im new to this website. I just purchased the online book of getting over your ex. I would have never thought divorce would be so painful. In fact, when I first filed I felt so relieved. I was so busy of planning my next move in court but now its all over and Im left with the reality of being 30 and DIVORCED. We were married for 10 years, 2 beautiful children, beautiful home...etc. We were high school sweethearts, he was my best friend. However, the last 6 years were full of misery. He had a huge problem with spending money we didnt have, addiction to porn, no responsibility with the kids...etc. I couldnt take it anymore. He lied to me and opened accounts behind my back and destroyed my credit. He entertained 19 year old girls behind my back and told me to get over it when I found out. I didnt handle it well. Instead of facing the problem, I turned to alcohol. That made things worst. In a drunken stupor, I told him I wanted a divorce. Things ended very ugly. Now, a year later and very sober, I am relieved and know I made the right decision to leave such a destrutive relationship. I am a beter mom, person..etc. There are no more days of alcohol. I am single and doing it on my own. He found a rich no kids, never been married woman whom he's moved in with. While I'm supporting the children on my own income (he's behind in child support), he's driving a brand new car and living in a fancy house. I am devastated. I wasnt supposed to be a divorced person! We were soul mates. Some days I miss him so much. It hurts sooo bad. Like a knife is constantlly cutting into me. I feel like I just go through "existence" every day. Friends/family remind me how horrible he was and to "get over it". I wish it were that easy. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Life feels so worthless sometimes. Thanks! :(
Re: He's moved on;I'm left in a million little pieces brokenbaby: Welcome to Ojar...
I wish I had amazing words of wisdom...you can't just get over it. It takes time and it sounds like when it happened you weren't really dealing with your emotions.
We are here to listen and help as much as we can.
Stay strong.
Re: He's moved on;I'm left in a million little pieces painfulopportunity: Oh - how the pain rings through. I am constantly trying to remind myself that my relationship ended because it was not healthy. Sometimes it is hard to see that. Your husband has just jumped into a rebound reltionship and may be living the temporary high life. Wait til the emotion sets in. He has done no personal growth - he will fall. Stay true to yourself and look after those precious kids. Your happiness will come - Unfortuneatley for all of us - the painful road home is the most fulfilling. We can all jump into anotherrelationship to fill our voids - It never works. Use this time to discover you. We are all with you through this shit time. We are all hurting & in the same boat.
Re: He's moved on;I'm left in a million little pieces dragonfly: [quote author=sosad05 link=topic=25016.msg236403#msg236403 date=1138923551">
We were high school sweethearts, he was my best friend.
Things ended very ugly. Now, a year later and very sober, I am relieved and know I made the right decision to leave such a destrutive relationship.
I am devastated. I wasnt supposed to be a divorced person! We were soul mates. Some days I miss him so much. It hurts sooo bad. Like a knife is constantlly cutting into me. I feel like I just go through "existence" every day. Friends/family remind me how horrible he was and to "get over it". I wish it were that easy. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Life feels so worthless sometimes. Thanks! :(
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Hi there, wow, I think you were reading my mind tonight. I couldn't sleep because I was thinking some of the very same things you posted. It's been a year since we seperated and 5 months since our divorce was final and I'm still picking up the pieces. He and the OW are living together with their son, having a brand new home built and I don't even know where I'm going to be in two months when my lease runs out. I struggle all the time with the "I'm not suppose to be a divorcee'...we were soul mates" thoughts. But these moments pass...and the come less frequently with time. Trust yourself and honor your feelings. This is the time to finally put yourself and your needs at the top of your list. I believe that some day, what goes around comes around and I may never witness it firsthand, but I know his day of reckoning is coming. So keep your chin up and stay positive.
Hugs & Pixie dust ;)
Re: He's moved on;I'm left in a million little pieces sosad05: Thankyou for your words of encouragement! I'm so glad I found this website. Somehow it helps to read about others going through the same thing. It helps me to know my feelings are normal and that it gets better over time. Somedays are good. But somedays I feel like I would give anything to have him back. Thankyou!!
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