Yeah, what she said! dixiecup: Letter to Kotex
Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner had a bunch
of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
-Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
-Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
-Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and
feeling fresh.
-Try Kotex blah blah blah other products
Obviously the person behind this was someone who has never possessed a
functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman TO
HER FACE that drinking 6-8 glasses of water will help keep her feeling
fresh.
See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate
from the vending machine. I guaron-gosh-damn-tee that the first responders
will be females who just ovulated. Look, females don't need or want tips
for living on feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already
hearing "helpful" cr@p like that from their elderly relatives. Veteran
females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many of
which contain alcohol. Printing out stupid advice while sneaking in ads
for the brand
THAT WAS ALREADY PURCHASED is just plain annoying, not to mention rude
and enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products. It's not a
fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or
bunnies or
flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the stuff in
a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and
have it blend in among the wine and beer!! There is nothing more
annoying than having a blinding pink package announcing your uterine
state to everyone in the store. The ultimate goal of your product should
be functional invisibility at every stage, including at the point of
purchase. So take
your tips for living and shove them right up your a - - . (Try drinking
six to eight glasses of water to make you feel fresher while you're
doing
it!)
Ovarily Yours
Miss PMS
