Re: I feel betrayed....is it justifiable?? 21218: you have your fundamentalist, bible thumping christian "morals". I don't share them.
the reason he feels guilt about this is because of all that crap, and because you're riding his ass about the whole thing as well.
if you really want to love and support him ... i dunno, love and support him?
physical abuse? i would assume that isn't a real problem because that's not why you're on here, is it? if it really is a serious problem and not something that you're throwing up in my face, then that's something that's a real problem ... not this. i don't know the specifics of your financial situation so I'm not even going to get into that.
he obviously has a part of him that wants and needs this release. again, it's not a wrong or terrible thing. it's normal.
you have your opinion and I have mine ... but you came on here asking "I feel betrayed....is it justifiable??" ... I'm telling you it's not. You've already decided it's justifiable and you won't listen to someone that's telling you that it's not. So if you have a serious question, fine. It you just want people to agree with you ... maybe other people on here will, but I certainly won't.
Re: I feel betrayed....is it justifiable?? gutinstincts_7: I don't want you to agree with me I want to see what I can do to heal from the pain that I feel. I just want to say that he is one of those fundamentalist, bible thumping christian moral people or at least the outside look has always been. I can't even swear in ear shot of him. I have been slapped for that, spanked for slamming doors and screaming. That is not all. When I started smoking he was all in my face about that and what a bad person I was to be doing that. I don't get it. I want to but I just don't. I am seriously stuck. Many of the posts about me were true. I am stuck I do wonder if the grass would be greener without the daily grind. And I am not talking about the horizontal one either.
Re: I feel betrayed....is it justifiable?? dgiirl: woah guys. I think we're jumping a little a head of ourselves.
Gutinstincts, why do you feel betrayed? Your first post was complaining about porn and masturbation, and how that makes you feel insecure. However, it doesnt add up and there's probably more to the problem than just him masturbating. Maybe if you explain the whole story instead of just little pieces, we'll have a better idea on the situation and be able to offer better advice. Remember, we can only give you advice on what you write. So before you get offended or overreact, keep that in mind. We only know what you write.
Re: I feel betrayed....is it justifiable?? timetobefree: gutinstincts,
Everyone has their lines, and he obviously crossed one with you and with himself. He has lots of issues, especially with himself. If he lied about why the porn was on the computer, that is not your fault. I'm not quite sure where everyone is getting their information from, telling you that your attitudes are causing him to do this. From everything I read that you wrote, you have asked him repeatedly to be more open with you, especially sexually. If he is truly religious, it stands to reason that this problems are coming from an internal struggle between what feels good to him (looking at porn, masturbating) and what he thinks he should be doing (resisting those feelings because of his religion).
The physical abuse concerns me a whole lote more than the porn. Slapped for swearing? You don't have to take that. He has NO right to raise his hand to you. Spanking you? He is not only abusing you physically but treating you as a child as well. Emotional abuse. Mental abuse.
If you want to heal this pain, you need to get some help. He's confused, you're confused. Please consider letting a professional help you sort this out. It is way more than one person can handle.
Take care,
Amy
Re: I feel betrayed....is it justifiable?? gutinstincts_7: I will explain more as soon as I can. I appreciate the time you have taken and I am not asking for people to take sides. I am asking for direction. I might not always agree and I might get stubborn but I eventually look at it in a different light, weigh it and decide if it will work for me. I am not a harda@@. I have to signoff now and take care of supper and bring the kids to wrestling. I will write more tonight when I get home.
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