Not really a vent...just an interesting experience... ohill: Last weekend one of my college buddies got married in Dayton, Ohio. I haven't seen him in 4+ years. So like any good friend, I packed up my belongings for an extended weekend and flew 1,000 miles to attend. It was my first wedding attendance since my own divorce. Several of my college friends attended with their wives, and we made a mini-reunion out of it. Here are a few observations that I made and experiences that I had....some serious, some not so much.
- The wedding ceremony was awesome from the standpoint that it was realistic. After hearing the pastor's empassioned charge to the couple, I was reminded in a very sobering way that marriage is really supposed to be a life altering, serious, and solemn commitment... No excuses otherwise for either party.
- I handled the wedding better than I thought I would. Considering the trainwreck that my marriage became and the pain that I went through as a result, I was surprised that I didn't walk in or out of there with an "anti-wedding" or "anti-marriage" attitude. For that I am thankful.
- I did feel some sorrow at the wedding. I wasn't angry or upset, but rather I was pained at "what might have been" and "what should have been" in my own marriage. I saw several friends with their wives, and I contrasted their state with my own. At least they have marriages to fight for and work on.
- A properly functioning marriage is something to behold. I had the privilege of staying with my college roommate, his wife, and their almost two year old son. I know that their lives aren't perfect, but I saw two people who are constantly trying to better each other, serve each other, and raise their son the best they can. I regained a little hope that marriage can be a great thing, although it's never going to be perfect or easy.
- Sleeping in a bunk bed designed for a two year old isn't a good idea. I woke up in the middle of the night, sat up, and cracked my head on the bottom portion of the top bunk. Ouch.
- One of my good college friends who was there just got back from Iraq after having served a tour as a med-evac Blackhawk pilot. He had harrowing stories of mortars that landed right behind the helicopter and mysteriously didn't explode, and of RPGs that flew right past his windscreen, narrowly missing him. He is lucky to be alive, and I was lucky to have seen him. You can't cherish time with friends and loved ones too much. You never know when tomorrow won't come.
- Despite all of the hurt that I suffered in 2005 with my divorce, hope springs eternal.
- The minute you figure that the grapevine has adequately delivered the news of your doomed marriage to the world, you will be wrong. When you want news bottled up, it will leak. When you want news delivered, it won't be. I had an old acquaintance come out of left field and ask me if I'm dating anyone. It was a reasonable question as I was the only one who showed up to the ceremony solo. I explained that I'm not dating anyone at the moment...and by the way, since it's about to come up anyway...did you know that I've been married and divorced? No? Well, perhaps we should keep in better touch... The look on his face was instant regret for bringing it up, and instant pity for me. I made sure to tell him that it wasn't a problem at all. The marriage and subsequent divorce are a part of who I am, my history. He shouldn't feel bad for bringing it up in what should be normal conversation. I'm getting better about breaking the news to the few people that don't know. That's a good thing.
